Wackygurl's Palace

2012

2012-01-01T20:38:00.015+08:00

It's 2012 already.

What a way to start 2012, by attending church, being in the presence of GOD the first thing in the morning, declaring once again that He is indeed my first love. Thank you. Thank you for 2011, thank you for the coming 2012.

A few resolutions in mind this year. Looking back, I managed to meet some, I didn't managed to for some.
2010 is a year of friendship, local and international.
2011 is indeed a year of achievements, maybe not big, but to me, there are indeed achievements.
2012 will be a year of _____________. I will know it in another 12 months.

2011-12-08T20:31:00.002+08:00

Yr4 Sem1 2011/2012

A lot of things happened. Good. Bad. Fun. Not-so-fun. Seems that I've grown a lot lately.

I shall not go into the RH Concert- Happealy Ever After because I wrote about that right after concert ended.

Studio. It's the first official landscape studio I've had so far. How was it? I got to say I've been adapting. Slowly. With concert on hand, I got to say it was really difficult. My tutor treats us as a master student (technically, I am still in Yr 4), expecting a lot from us, a superwoman herself. Nonetheless, I tried my best. The results? Not as good as I expect it to be but not as bad either. I've known a whole bunch of girls plus a guy whom I'm gonna stick together until the end of Yr5, caught a glimpse of what landscape truly wants, still don't know how to make a nice landscape model, less procrastination, more objective and work more.

Hall. Concert aside. I've made quite a bunch of new friends, mostly my SETS members. Quite an outgoing bunch, funny, always making me laugh, well angry too at times. Being a final year is really weird, it seemed that we are always in our own little world. Final years sticking together with whoever we have left in hall. Things happened. Friendship strained. Some managed to pull back together some not. Maybe final year is the year where you can see everybody's true colours. Everybody is busy with their FYP while I am busy with my studio work while the Yr1s play and laugh the whole day. Irony but true. Thank you so much for always coming into my room unexpectedly, making memories that would bond us together. Thank you so much for asking me for meals together even though I am seldom here. Thanks for all the random ice-cream outing!

Church. This semester due to commitment levels in school. I haven't really been attending cell group meetings as often. Yeah, initially I really did felt really bad. I don't know why, but it just didn't felt right. I thank God I didn't let it affect me so much until that day in The Upper Class Retreat that I finally released that I shouldn't always feel short-changing Him because all-in-all, it is Him I am living for. Do not let anything pull you down, as long as you gave your best. I really thank God for S35. I think writing to church 3years back was the best decision I've made so far, because now I got a spiritual family here in Singapore. 3 years, not too long, yet not too short. These people had kept me in-check with my spiritual life. Thank you for all the craziness! Thank you for always being so supportive! Haha. Even though I know you guys don't really read my blog.

OVERALL.

This semester, I've challenged myself a lot. Taking in things that I thought I can handle but turns out to be more than what I can handle. Time management is still in a mess, which I have a lot more to improve on. Stretching my limits, balancing my life. Social, academic, spiritual, physical, family. It's all about finding the balance and putting Him first no matter what. It's always difficult to step out of our comfort zone, but once you do, you will realise the things you've miss, and the satisfaction from the things you've thought you couldn't never do. This is so far the most satisfying semester yet!

Phillippians 4:6

Be anxious for NOTHING, but in EVERYTHING by PRAYER and SUPPLICATION, with THANKSGIVING let your requests be made known to GOD

The Upper Class

2011-12-05T01:14:00.001+08:00

A retreat, a camp, a getaway..call it whatever you want..Awesome time after exams!

I seriously wondered why in the first place I wanted to attend this despite knowing almost nobody there.
The first night, it was actually pretty awkward, walking into a place filled with strangers who bear familiar faces. It seems that my social skills are not working as well as it should.
I thought I will never really have to go through this again after I find myself a cellgroup here in Singapore 2 years back. All the quiet-ness, sitting down and observe more than speaking. Really brings back memories.

Thank God for super friendly people, a bunch of crazy,noisy girls. So comfortable with themselves. Loud. Funny. Friendly. It was nice to get to know them. Thank you for always looking out for me these 2 days, thank you for making sure that I am not feeling left-out. It really kept my heart warm, to know that no matter what, the family of God is really filled with love.

Got to know more people in church. I am glad I went. 3 years in church, I only know that many people. It's always good to know more people from the zone itself. That is half the reason why I decided to go for this.

It's a layback weekend, getting to know people, widen my social circle. They say it is from strangers that friendships are formed. I am hoping that the people I know here is the start of something greater that have yet to come. Besides the people, everything else was planned to be free and easy. The games weren't taxing, but yet still able to fit in the fun element, the sessions are casual, thus encouraging us to let go of ourselves, a time out of the hustle bustle of the city, a weekend where everything is simple and easy.

P/S: Been a long long time since I last went to any church retreat or whatever since I came to Singapore.

Those YC camps that last for a week. I do miss them at times. I can see the efforts that are put into planning all these. A simple few days that took the organisers months to plan!

2011-11-28T16:13:00.000+08:00

Yesterday I passed by this shop which sells a paper pinhole camera. Made out of nothing but paper.

It actually reminded me about my project in Yr 2.

I really wanted to buy it. Deep down inside, my brain told me that it's too expensive even though I know I can afford it this time. I really do. But it ain't worth it because it is just paper.

Nonetheless, I ended up walking back without it.

The photos it can capture are pretty unique. Maybe I shall sit down and make one myself one fine day.

Happy End

2011-11-09T01:59:00.001+08:00

Well, the song is a little contradicting to what I am going to post but the tune is just too addictive and catchy. It's my blog anyway, so I get to decide! Haha..

Always attracting the wrong guys of the wrong crowd.
Something is wrong somewhere.
The right boy ain't there.
Falling in love is harder than one seems.
It's not anywhere, everytime, for everyone.

Everytime I meet my relatives anywhere, they will ask, 'So do you have a boyfriend now?'
Everytime I meet my friends back in KL, they will ask, 'So do you have a boyfriend now?'
Well, boyfriend don't just fall from heaven, handsome, nice and heavenly. Ha.
They don't just appear from the earth and say, 'Hey, I am your boyfriend! Well, at least I think I am'

I believe in waiting for the right one.
People around me are hooking up as if it's the right thing to do at my age.
I will wait. Wait for the right one to come knocking on the door of my heart.
Keeping it for the one while looking around for him.

Give Me Oil in My Lamp

2011-11-04T23:22:00.000+08:00

Remind me of the time when I was a helper in Children Ministry.
How I miss playing with kids, hearing their stories, hearing how simple and sophisticated things could amuse them.

I am burning out soon. Please continue to pour oil into this lamp, oh God!
I know I need to sleep, but there's too much at hand for me to handle.
Too much to do, so little time.
Good graphics, productivity, efficiency, confidence.
I am not asking for more.

Thank you GOD!

2011-11-02T21:47:00.001+08:00

Is it true that when you are stress, colourful things make you smile?
Well, at least for me, it does. Somehow colourful things remind me of the beauty of God creation.
If I am a white blank canvas, I trust that He will paint it beautifully and magnificently without mistakes.

Despite being in architecture school, where black,white and grey are prioritized, I still find myself drawn to colours. Somehow, COLOUR brings LIFE!

The whole world, as we experience it visually, comes to us through the mystic realm of COLOURS.

~ Hans Hofmann ~

Time out to PRAY

2011-10-30T15:49:00.001+08:00

PRAYER is the key to revival.
PRAYER is the key to your success.
PRAYER is the key to personal victory.

I ask you to PRAY. I ask you to PRAY.
I ask you a third time to PRAY.

PRAYER is the foundation of Kingdom of God.
Only through PRAYER can we carry out God's command in out lives.

~Dr. David Cho ~
(Seoul, Korea)

Independent

2011-10-23T16:37:00.001+08:00

Somehow today, it felt so weird.
A place I feel at home the most, but it is also the same place where I feel left-out the most too.
Is it true that no matter how long you've been here, you are still counted as a foreigner?
Eventhough at times you feel so comfortable, yet there are times when you feel so out of place.
So paradoxical yet so true.

Sometimes I think I am too independent. Always doing things on my own.
Not willing to let anybody see the other side of me.
Always putting up the tough-everything-is-alright front.
Nobody is supposed to see me breaking down in stress.
Nobody is supposed to see the weaker side of me.
LET GO. Learn how to let go and let the people around me in.

A lot of friends around, but never really had a close one.

Sometimes, it's good, most of the time, it's not.

Maybe I have not been investing enough time into the relationships.

Maybe. JUST maybe.

At least, I know He is always with me. No matter where or when. Thank you.

SET RHMP 2011/2012

2011-10-19T10:44:00.004+08:00

1.Initial meeting to explain the design.

2. Sub-group working on their given piece. Small or big. Everybody have a part. Well, we leave our mark at the sets room too. Maybe we should all choose a part and sign on it permanently.

3. Then sometimes mid-way, we have to replenish our energy. They are super hungry ghosts that is around all year round.

4. Almost there, now all we need is bring it through the door. TEAMWORK. One, Two, Three! UP!

5. After through the door, fix it all up while making the entire stage super messy plus Anna screaming the timeline. Haha.

6. The final product!

It's been a crazy journey. Everyday all I think about is sets, well architecture too of course, if I ever want to graduate. With that giant scale sets, at first, I really thought that the not so big-sized me wouldn't be able to pull through. The number of breakdowns I have when the world was caving in,countless, but it is those times that made me stronger. Friends that kept encouraging me, members that are so cheeky yet fun to hang out with, friends that came all the way down to watch it. I will never forget the loud clap the audience gave the moment the curtain was opened. The feedbacks that kept coming back to me reminded me of why I agreed to take this up in the first place.

Thank you so much. My last hall activity. CONCERT. Now, I can proudly say that I was a part of the largest (2011/2012), medium-sized ( 2008/2009), and the smallest (2009/2010) sets Raffles ever had.

2011-10-14T08:33:00.001+08:00

The day is finally here.
The day where all the shifting will be done.
Then the day after, we will be fixing them on the stage itself.
It's do or die now.
No matter how bad it can be, I know I will be able to go through with it.
Well, I am already proud of myself that I could complete everything.
My mum will be proud, my sis will be proud, even my friends will be proud.
A nice pat on the back to mark the ending.
Now the last lap, my body refuses to rest, so many things that I have to take into consideration.

I've been insisting that it wouldn't rain tonight.
Somehow something inside me convicted me that it won't.
I will still tell others that it won't because it is really something that is so convicted in me.
Thank you God for that conviction. Thank you for the certainty.

Now Lord, all I'm worried about is how to bring them all into the hall without destructing anything. Thank you for everything, Lord. You've been there, You are still there and You will be there.

COMFORT

2011-10-11T16:00:00.001+08:00

Thank you for being the bear, always there to comfort me when I am at my rock bottom.
Telling me how I can do it because I got the capabilities, because I got somebody really strong supporting me.
When I am at the verge of giving up, your texts reminds me that God is always there for me.
He is always behind my back, making sure I am standing tall.
All the texts come in the morning, making sure that is the first thing I read to start my day. It's really encouraging.

No tears wasted ;) u're transformer!

My strong upfront, everything crashed down. No more bubbly girl.No more everything is fine. No more everything will work out. Now, I am just a plain complainer who can't control her tear glands anymore.
A girl who is afraid that she is too behind time and couldn't catch up with anything. So weird to show my weaker side to everybody. Vulnerability.

MATTHEW 5:8
You're blessed when you get your inside world- your mind and your heart-put right. Then you can see God in the outside world.

2011-10-05T09:58:00.000+08:00

I smiled watching this video this morning.
Heartwarming. Love. Romance. Distance. Cuteness.
WongFu Production is really good.
A great video to start the day with. =)

2011-10-02T20:05:00.000+08:00

2 weeks to the actual day. The time limit, the deadline, everything is coming in.
But somehow I am pretty sure that it will be done, it will at least be up to my expectation.
The members are getting the urgency, I am going a little crazy but somehow, I am happy doing the things that I do because apparently, when I talked about it, I get all hyped up and I can't stop smiling.

The JOY of the LORD is indeed my STRENGTH.
THANK YOU.
I need a lot more to sustain me through the coming weeks. I am putting them into Your hands.
Thank you for members who are willing to sacrifice to make sure that things happen.
Thank you for the unexpected leadership quality I didn't know I have.
Thank you for less procrastination.
Thank you for discipline.
One thing I won't thank you for is the RAIN! Nah, I will thank you for RAIN too because at least the weather is quite good to work in besides the fact that I am always feeling like I want to sleep.

INDEED, YOUR LOVE IS HIGHER than what I could comprehend.

2011-09-25T16:57:00.004+08:00

Today during service, the verse Nehemiah 4:14 was repeated.

Nehemiah 4:14

And I looked, and arose and said to the nobles, to the leaders, and to the rest of the people," Do not be afraid of them. Remember the Lord, great and awesome, and fight for your brethren, your sons, your daughters, your wives, and your houses."

Twice in a week by 2 different people.

There must be something that I am not getting in the verse.

This is no coincidence.

This is not something that can be taken lightly.

Eventhough today's preaching about Arise and Build, somehow the thing I seemed to be building is not just financially for the works of the kingdom of God, but I am also building on the platforms that is in my life in order for me to use all these platforms that God had placed in my life to glorify Him. These platforms are tough to climb, tough to conquer, tough to overcome but time and time again, He reminds me that He will be there for me.

SANBALLAT

TOBIAH

GESHEM

Mockery, intimidation, weariness in leading, and even when there are stress from every corner.
One thing I am sure of now, I am at the stage of WEARINESS and there is another 3 weeks to go.
But if I am to hold onto NEHEMIAH 4:14 and fight the good fight, I know I will end up winning it victoriously.

I know that You are for me
I know that You are for me
I know that You will never
forsake me in my weakness.

I know that You have come down
Even if to ride upon my heart
To remind me who You are

2011-09-23T03:14:00.001+08:00

They say that the things you love most make you laugh and cry.

It is so true.

Yesterday, sets made me sad.

Today, sets made me happy.

The teamwork that was shown. It's pretty amazing. That is what I always wanted to see in my members. Now that is SATISFACTION!

Most of the time, chasing after your dreams is not easy. The ups and the downs. When you are at your up, you will be so encouraged to move on. However, when you are at your down, you feel like giving up. Today's devotion kept reminding me that He will always be there for me.

Psalm 139: 5

You go before me and follow me. You place Your hand of blessing on my head.

Eujean asked me to read a verse the other day, explained it on the phone the context behind the verse, then only it struck how it relates to me now.

Nehemiah 4:14

And I looked, and arose and said to the nobles, to the leaders, and to the rest of the people," Do not be afraid of them. Remember the Lord, great and awesome, and fight for your brethren, your sons, your daughters, your wives, and your houses."

Judah, building the walls of Jerusalem, it's so tough that even he complains of all the trials that came to him. And Judah usually doesn't complains. Then, the Lord reassured him that He will always be there backing Him up. Nothing will come between them.

To make the grandest SETS Raffles Hall had ever seen, of course the journey there will have its ups and downs. God is overlooking over this process, He knows that it is these processes that will build my character, He knows that somehow in the middle, I will start complaining but He still reassured me that He is there guiding me through, His hand guiding my every path.

THANK YOU.

THANK YOU for making me feel better and more confident.

2011-09-19T19:21:00.001+08:00

RECESS WEEK!

A time to catch up with friends, and work and of course, SLEEP!
Concert is less than a month away. I am quite worried about it. In fact, I am very worried about it. All the emails that come in, no matter what day it is and what time it is had made me hate concert to an extent but at the same time still love it. Like what others always tell me, 'Anna, you must learn to let go! Trust others with what you gave them to do!' However, it is really tough, so I find myself taking it all in, and then realising that I am slowly collapsing inside day by day.

Yet, I am taking this opportunity to catch up with friends that I have no time for. Trying to arrange everything to fit in this one week. I know this week will fly pass and soon I will be in the normal semester timings once again. Then my to-do list will continue to expand.

This week, I shall let myself go to any random cafe and sit there for ages, doing what I love most- READ! Go to Baskin Robbins and get a cup of ice-cream, and READ or SKETCH.

Feels so long since I last DOODLE-d.

Where is my SUPERMAN?

2011-09-05T07:23:00.002+08:00

CRASHED and BURNT this weekend.
Slept a lot. Slacked a lot. Well, comparatively a lot compared to previous weeks.
I guess it's a good thing since I seldom get to slow down and rest during the weekdays.
Satisfying week.
A crazy one ahead.

VISION --> FAITH --> INTENTION --> ACTION
-->MOMENTUM --> MOMENTUM OF GOD

Thank you for being my encouragement. Ultimately, it's for Your glory.
I'l put You above the rest. I promise.

2011-08-28T20:09:00.000+08:00

From my heart to the heavens, Jesus be the center.
'cos it's all about You.
Yes, it's all about You.

Today during service, when this song was sang, something twitched inside of me.
I realised I haven't been putting Him in everything that I had been doing the past week.
He reassured me that if I learn to trust Him, He will help me in ways beyond what I can think or imagine.
So for the coming week, I am committing it into His hands.

JESUS BE THE CENTER.

2011-08-25T01:01:00.002+08:00

Tested today.
Reflected on it.
Knew where I went wrong but sometimes it is hard.
And he told me I am a people person.
A person who complains but with a certain joy everytime I start talking about it. So it is not really complaining because I actually love doing it. So he knows I can do it. Thank you for listening to me everytime.

Everyone is a genius at least once a year. The real geniuses simply have their bright ideas closer together.
~Georg Christoph Lichtenberg~

To lead a whole group? Well, difficult but I don't see it as impossible.
It's just something that I have not get a grasp on.
I know I can because I know He is always there for me.

Breakdowns sometimes are necessary because you realised then how much you really need Him.

2011-08-13T12:13:00.001+08:00

SCHOOL. HALL. CHURCH. FRIENDS. COMMITMENTS. FUN ...

Well, the list goes on for this semester.
I know I need to do a lot this semester.
I am actually excited about it. A little worried as well, that is for sure
So yeah, so much to do, so little time.
Enlarging the extent of my tent as much as possible.

EGGGCITEDDD!!

2011-07-26T01:39:00.002+08:00

OPTIMUS PRIME.

The Transformers character that holds a special significant meaning to me.
And I think it will continue to be for a period of time.
Optimus Prime, always reminds me that in everything that I do, I know I am here because He knows I am primed for it, He knows that no matter how tough it might become, we will be able to pull through with Him on our side.

Remember the part in Transformers 3, when Sentinel Prime was 'resurrected', Optimus Prime actually wanted to return the leader position back to him? It is in this scene that makes me wonder, after being a leader of the Autobots for so long, wouldn't it be so difficult for him to hand over his authority to somebody else so easily?Having so many Autobots looking up to him and listening to his orders for so long, from thousands of followers to none after handing over? Wouldn't everything that he'd done be a waste? I guess, the answer is simple: No greed, no power hunger, just looking at the leader seat as a chance for him to reunite all the Autobots and to protect the mankind.

LEADERSHIP.
Never thought that I will be a good leader because I am not a good leader as far as I know.
Never been taught how to take up leadership, but being in Singapore for the past years, I learnt to take up responsibilities, to challenge myself and to take myself one step above who I used to be.
Leadership, it is not just about having the authority and power, but it is about using this opportunity to impact the people who will be under me. A golden opportunity to be a person of influence in their lives. Not making them work for me but WITH ME.
Definitely a lot more to learn about leadership.
As a starting point, I am learning to lead with all my heart and soul.

Commitment

2011-07-16T01:23:00.001+08:00

What is commitment?
Have you wonder why are people these days so afraid of commitments?

COMMITMENT in itself is a huge word.
When do one decide whether to commit or not to commit?
How do one decide whether to commit or not to commit?

Tonight, I was reminded of how my every commitment to God paid off,how very often when He gave me the choice of whether to stay committed to Him or to walk on my own, I choose to stay on track with Him even during difficult times. And most of these times, I could see how it all paid off. I am thankful that no matter what, I am still able to stay faithful to Him.

Thank you for guiding me through.
Thank you for teaching me the value of commitment.
Thank you for letting me see with my own eyes that with commitment, I am able to grow more than I thought I would.

Kutless-What Faith Can Do

2011-07-11T11:51:00.008+08:00

Everybody falls sometimes
Gotta find the strength to rise
From the ashes and make a new beginning
Anyone can feel the ache
You think it’s more than you can take
But you’re stronger, stronger than you know
Don’t you give up now
The sun will soon be shining
You gotta face the clouds
To find the silver lining

I’ve seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn’t ever end
Even when the sky is falling
I’ve seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That’s what faith can do

It doesn’t matter what you’ve heard
Impossible is not a word
It’s just a reason for someone not to try
Everybody’s scared to death
When they decide to take that step
Out on the water
It’ll be alright
Life is so much more
Than what your eyes are seeing
You will find your way
If you keep believing

An inspiring song. And it keeps reminding me that HOPE is the confident expectation that your desire will be fulfilled. My hope is in the Lord for as it is written in the Bible, with faith as small as a mustard seed, He can use it to move mountains. Thank you for answering all my silent prayers, those small simple ones that I ask for when I am on the bus, walking to school, taking showers or before I go to bed. Thank you for constantly giving me the hope when I am down and lost. Thank you for giving me the conviction that my faith is real and nothing is ever gonna take that away from me. THANK YOU!

Hope that doesn't ever end,

even when the sky is falling.

I've seen miracles just happen,

Silent prayers get answered.

And it is impressive how this song can touch so man hearts. Everybody is taking from different part of the lyrics because it touches them. The same song but brings different meaning to so many people.

Hari Lahir ke-22

2011-07-02T18:49:00.013+08:00

Bermulanya cerita bagaimana aku menyambut hari lahirku yang ke-22...

When to Bishan Park for site visit, I was supposed to reach Bishan at 9am, which is at the other end of the island, so I had to wake up at 6.45am and travelled more than hour to get there on time.
The weather was cold and nice to sleep in, that if I got the chance, I think I would had slept until 11am.
But there I was, under the rain with boots and safety helmets, walking and walking and walking from one part of the park to the other while the construction workers are under shelters looking at us. It just have to fall on Thursday, the day where I got class from 9-6!

At Bishan Park, really this will indeed be one of the nicest park in Singapore soon!

A simple lunch turned 1st birthday celebration of the MLA Studio! Fish & Co always make me stand on chairs.

Yet, somehow despite being really really tired, I managed to drag myself for CG. I remember vividly, how I really really hoped that Eujean's house is just 10 mins away from NUS. What better way to end the day, meeting with the people that makes me feel at home here in Singapore. So lovely.

Super sinful mini cake from cellgroup.

My birthday gift. Simple and quite cute to look at. It's double the size of my fist la!

Well, just when you think that is all. And I can finally sleep. Friends just decided to pop up, sing a birthday song and then more cakes. No wonder I am getting fat! Hall friends that share the same feelings of having to be in a foreign land that decides to make it really simple yet with love and care.

After smiling at all the facebook wishes, I slept all the way until 11am the next morning. I was so so so damn tired but I have to say, I enjoyed myself and I learned to appreciate the people around me for with them, my world continues to turn at its axis, making sure I am alright! Just a simple, rainy and hectic birthday, but it is also enveloped with LOVE!

Home Sweet Home

2011-06-26T23:29:00.000+08:00

A random trip back to Home Sweet Home.
No wonder we call it Home Sweet Home and no anything else because it is indeed Home is the place where everything is sweet as no where else can win the place where you grew up, the place where you see familiarity in every corner.
Eventhough it ain't perfect and the imperfections are still there to irritate me but it feels so good to be home.
The people, the relatives, the friends, the church, the bed, the TV set, etc.

A short 4 days trip.
A sweet and short one.
Now I hope, I have enough energy to survive for another 5weeks in Singapore before I head back here again, on official holidays before the real semester start!

Birthday Wishes

2011-06-23T00:41:00.000+08:00

I've been thinking about what I want this coming birthday.

Yeah, I got physical desires that I want but not necessarily need.

There's the spiritual aspect that I know I would need to change in order to extend my tent.

There's the self aspect, that only I myself can help myself with.

1. Commitment

So when you've managed to keep to the commitment that you've commit yourself to the previous year, that means this coming year, you would need to step up to another commitment level to allow oneself to grow more. For with commitment, comes unity, and with unity, comes growth especially in group activities.For me, commitment itself is divided into several aspects, which are GOD, school,family,myself and friends. So higher commitment level this year comes with higher expectation.

2. Singapore

Seriously, I've been staying in Singapore for a good 2 and a half years and I've got to say, I know almost next to nothing about this tiny little island.Well, that is besides all the bad sides that I've observed.Time to look at the bright side. I've not even eaten Chilli Crab! OMG! Haha.I got a feeling that Singapore got a lot more to offer than all the strict rules and systems. I just need to spend some time, exploring the island, looking for the inner side of Singapore that I never know. Maybe we can start by a food trail,not around Clementi, that's for sure and with the locals.

3. Photography
This year, I am going to explore photography a little deeper like I always wanted to. The camera that I have now is really just a point and shoot, so I will have to maximise what my camera can do for me and then see what other opportunities and learn from experiences that I can get from out of all the photo competitions that I will be joining in the future. Then, I will get myself a better camera, and so on.

4. Landscape Architecture
For those who is still in a blur, I am currently majoring in Landscape Architecture. Something that I found myself being drawn to these days. This year, I would want to find out more about this special field. These days, I start to look at the landscape around me with more insight that I never knew I had. It is indeed getting pretty interesting. The more I scratch the surface, the more interesting stuffs I find. Let me use the whole 2 years in MLA to do my best and to get the best out of this short period of time.

2011-06-11T01:14:00.001+08:00

I just realised I got a swollen knee!
I think it must be the fall I had on Thursday!
It did hurt a little today(Friday) and a little more on Thursday itself but it didn't seemed quite bad until now.
Somehow I am smiling to myself while looking at it.
It doesn't look so bad when both of my legs are bend.
But it does look swollen when I straighten them.
The assymmetry.
Maybe I should just hang them up and not use them at all. Lolz.

Okay, if by Monday it is still like this, I will go to the doctor. I swear.
Now, back to work! Well, I need the motivation to work! Submission is 5 days away!

2011-06-09T00:11:00.001+08:00

Saw a Holga in a shop I passed by in Jurong Point the other day.

I stared at it long enough for the shop assistant to stare back at me, and wonder am I really gonna buy it.

Really want one. Always wanted one. A RED Holga camera!

The yellow is quite pretty too.

Yet, everytime I look at my bank balance, I don't know how long more could I survive.

I know I can somehow, because I am Anna Yap.

I know I need a part-time job, but you see, a job means I got lesser time for studio.

Sometimes, I think I can still handle both, it is just that I am refusing to step out of my comfort zone.

To me, money will always come the easy way, that is raining down from Heaven.

Maybe it is about time to make a change, at some point of life, changes come and make us better.

2011-06-05T22:07:00.000+08:00

Today I was reading a book, something popped out and stayed.

Do what you SHOULD do before you do what you WANT to do.

Then it struck me that these days, it's all about what I want to do. What I should do is always left to the very end and then I will rush them through without giving any thought and effort into them. This is not the way it should be and not everything is based on everything that I want. Everything should be done to give glory to God.

I have a theory. It’s called the ‘giving’ theory. I don’t think our project was all about giving at all, there was also going to be alot of taking, I think we all realized that.

My theory about giving is that when we give, we will be given more. and we just have to accept that. so in receiving anything, we have to give, and these giving is distributed to everyone else and this giving thing just becomes really big and everyone gets something by giving something.

so I think, when the opportunity arises, just give…and give more than you think you can afford, and you’ll find that your needs will be met, and more…and you’ll find greater capacity to give than ever before…until we realize that with our own strength, such capacity of giving would be impossible.

Quoted from Tirza's blog. Made me think a lot too about giving. But I liked what I read.

Speak into the mountains, to move into the ocean.....

Guardian Angel.

2011-05-29T01:16:00.001+08:00

Just when you think you are too big to be homesick. That you should really get over being homesick after being 3 years away from home. You should really get used to be sick in a foreign land. God decided to send an angel down to be a blessing.

Well, who does these kind of stuffs anymore? Come on, you are really too nice to me. I don't deserve it at all, for being a complainer all the time, for thinking about myself all the time.

Thank you so much for providing such a comfy place for me in Singapore, thank you so much for letting me know that someone still cares whether I am alive or dead, thank you for coming all the way. THANK YOU!

You know who you are, even though I don't think you actually read my blog.

2011-05-25T15:26:00.003+08:00

Being sick in a foreign land, is the worst that an international student can ever experience.

Then the home-sickness will hit you like a pang! All you wish for is for mum to be there to make sure that you eat your medicine on time and to cook porridge for you and to tell you everything will be alright.

Sitting in the clinic all alone, waiting for my number to flash. How much better can I feel about that? Maybe I should just get myself a boyfriend, at least I won't feel so lonely at times like this. Lolz.

Haven't been talking to anybody, only the doctor in the morning.

Doctor restrained me from talking to much. Asked me to eat properly but then I don't even have the energy to go and get proper food for myself all thanks to the 'non-drowsy' medicine.

The throat is painful. The phlegm is clearing, my nose is starting to feel better. I can breathe normally again. But somehow the tongue feels funny.

I know of people who cares, but then why bother other people with my sickness?

I will get well after a day of full rest, hiding in my room, reading a book.

Well, people get sick once in a while. It always happens to me when I am back in Malaysia, it's just this time, I am here in Singapore during my holidays. LIFE.

Isn't this the kind of soup, those that is boiled with love and care, the best soup you can find on earth?

I sure hope I have one bowl right in front of me now.

Nikon D5100 Photo Competition Submission

2011-05-21T21:54:00.002+08:00

Nikon D5100 Photo Competition Submission

Click the above link and then like the photo.

Who knows I really could win myself a DSLR.

I really hope so.

It would be my best birthday present then!

Today was rather weird.

I don't know how to describe it.
I loved that I was in church and how I felt the presence of God.
How He is there to embrace me. How everything felt so nice and perfect.
And then,.......

It's just a mixture of home-sickness, plus too much socializing plus some weird feelings.

But if I stay in my room, I feel lonely.

If I go out and play, I don't feel as if I am myself.

How weird, but that is how I felt today.

Well, today when I looked at all the kids coming out from Sunday School holding onto cute little papers with memory verses written on it. It really made me miss those kids I used to play with when I was back in KL. Those adorable 4 year old kids. Now, it is so hard, so hard to find time to do things I used to love.
It would be fun if I could just bring a bunch of kids for a picnic somewhere for half a day. Just submerged yourself into the world of the little ones.

2011-05-18T16:44:00.000+08:00

Something popped up in my brain just now when I was showering.
Something pretty interesting to think about.

Did architecture turned me into a workaholic or the fact that I am a workaholic in the first place that landed me in architecture?

2011-05-17T09:49:00.001+08:00

It's Vesak Day today.
It's a public holiday.
But somehow, a tinge of loneliness seemed to be kicking at the door.
Everything here seemed dead, abandoned and inhabited.
Well, I guess, sometimes this is the bad side of being an international student in a foreign land.

Cleared a portion of my sleep debt.
Gonna have some 'me' time today.
Then gonna go do some catching up with some people.
Then come back and do some work.

2011-05-12T23:34:00.000+08:00

Working on these stuffs! Really fun to be outdoor, despite the terrible weather the past few days!
Walking on a railway, an active one, of course I am excited! Who wouldn't be? And who get that opportunities like this? Tell you guys more as special semester goes on!

GREEN IS A CLICHE COLOUR!.... Bet, my tutor won't want to be in Raffles where everything is indeed green!

Yr3Sem2 Review

2011-05-06T23:50:00.003+08:00

Finally some time to sit down and reflect back on the semester.
A lot came, a lot I went through, many people came and gave me support, and finally I pushed through what other people rate as the worst semester.

This semester being the semester after exchange from Korea, you bet it was difficult to cope up with the Singapore pace. The first few weeks was really just post-exchange syndrome where I tend to compare everything to Korea. So it was like, Korea this, Korea that, Korea this, Korea that while the rest of the cohort was getting busy with their project. The standard of the cohort improved beyond what one can expect in a couple of months. That meant only one thing, I need to step up this semester, by a lot!

With the dark shadow of Year 2 Semester 2, I told myself, it's okay, I will be able to do it a lot better this semester, I know I will, I know it is going to be tough to walk out of it but I told myself I will do my best and give my all.

Under Donovan this semester, really didn't know what to expect because I don't know anything about the Year3 tutors at all since I was away the semester before. The brief of designing a medical tourism hub in Chinatown really made me excited. I started with establishing a concept that I thought I can relate too.

The start was a rough patch. The process was difficult. It just seemed as if everything I did was wrong. Nothing is ever correct anyway. After the previous semester in NUS, I became so conscious about making a design decision. Why this? Why that? And then later finding out that I can't justify it myself. It's really hard.

Stress level this semester was beyond what I could handle. I don't remember buckling under stress but this semester, there were times in the semester where all I want to do was sit in a corner and cry my lungs out, and times when I don't see why am I doing the things I was doing. It didn't make any sense any longer. Tears would just run and sometimes I would just sit there spacing into thin air because my brain didn't know what is right and wrong anymore. It was just bad.

This statement is so true. This semester I really thank GOD for putting friends in my life. Friends that go all the way out just to make sure I am alright. Friends that helped me sustained all the way to the end of submission. Friends that are willing to spend their time and effort just to make sure I am okay.

EUJEAN:-

-He did things that were way beyond what a CG leader is supposed to do.

-I really thank God for him.

-Thank you for all the mini gestures of care that you took time to show and do. Thank you for taking the time out trying to understand what I am going through in school and hall.

-Seriously, I won't know how I could cope with the RIBA stress without his encouragement messages that said I can do it and I should sleep more!

-Now, because of him, I love OPTIMUS PRIME! Haha. I am eye-ing for an Optimus Prime figurine.

CHINWEI:-
-Someone who is there to lend me a hand in my project and to tell me never to give up.
-All I have to do is text him, and he will be more than willing to help me even though he is so damn busy with work.
-When I was not productive, he pushed me to think, sketch and produce because he knows I can do it.
-When I was at the verge of giving up my project, he is there to shoot all my boring ideas and then suggest how I can think it through in another way to make it more interesting.
-In the end, from hating my project, I came to love it more everyday.
-He doesn't even have a reason to go all out to help me but HE DID!

JEANETTE:-
-Her simple actions of texting me, short 'Fighting, ANNA!' or just MSN-ing ,'ANNA, how's progress?' tells me that I can count on her at any moment when I am about to have a nervous breakdown.
-Telling me that she is working all night too to finish her paper, and both of us having short chats online when we are bored of working, really help me to stay awake and work through the night.
-Thank you. Really really thank you.
-If BigBang comes to Singapore, let's go together okay?! Haha..

EEHIANG & JEREMY:-
-They helped me with my final model, beared with all my anal remarks, saw me through all the stress breakdown that I had at upper lounge, always trying to cheer me up when my face turned black due to stress, and always telling me to chill.
- I know, they too have their own version of stress that they need to handle. That's why staying at Upper Lounge really help because we are not just a bunch of people sitting down to mug and finish our work, we are indeed a FAMILY. A FAMILY that cares for one another.
-I am so gonna miss you two next semester.
-And after helping me with my model, all they asked for were CCT from Uncle Vincent eventhough I wanted to get them more. Helping but not asking for anything in return. That comes from a pure heart.

After this semester, I will be dealing with more of plants and public spaces as I chose to Major in LANDSCAPE ARCHITECTURE. I really do hope that I made the right choice.

I am looking forward to the next semester. Well, technically my next semester is my special semester which starts on 9th May, so I don't really have much holidays in between. I am curious about my next project. And next semester, I will be excited about the Sets department that I will be heading. Next semester will be a very challenging semester indeed, looking forward for it. Of course, the fun and not the stress. But I guess, stress is unavoidable right? Haha. I will just have to learn how to cope with it.

2011-04-29T22:42:00.000+08:00

My dear Apple is in the Apple Hospital. Better now than another time since now I am pretty much done with Year 3 of architecture school. I got a lot to review on this semester because I learnt a tonne be it from architecture or not. Now I am waiting for bridging course for Landscape Architecture to start. A little sad that I don't have a long holiday like the rest, but I got to say I am looking forward to it pretty much as well as how I am dreading it to come because that means architecture is in again! Lolz.

Sitting now in Granny's house, in front of the TV, the arirang channel that shows everything about Korea, from showbiz to pop to 100 icons of Korea. How I miss Korea. I really do.All the cute little kids and of course, Korean pop and Korean guys!

The after submission and exams period. Yeah, we look forward to it everytime. But when it is here, we dread it because somehow it seemed that something is missing in our lives as we wake up every morning feeling so aimless. Been playing since submission is over. Been going out, catching up with the world. Seemed weird that I am not being productive. But, my friends say I deserve this break. Irony of life.

2011-04-22T21:54:00.001+08:00

3 hours plus of doing nothing, just plainly roaming around Suntec City and Marina Square, knowing which shop we wanted to go but never really know where it is.

It's been a long long time since I last did these kind of nonsense, feeling so satisfied and contented. No more stress, no more worries (ha, only stupid structure exams). It's been so long since I last spent time with them. How I miss the laughters and cold,lame jokes. JOY!

Welcome back, the most beautiful, senseless, brainless time of the year!

Wonder how long will I last before asking and stressing about what I can do everyday besides staring at the screen.

2011-04-19T10:14:00.002+08:00

No point looking in the mirror and find fault with myself. Yeah, I told that to myself yesterday. Why keep emphasizing how worried I am about my presentation later in another 4 hours? Because my brain kept telling me so. I want to get it off my head, I want to be filled with confidence, I want to give it all to God but sometimes it is easier said than done.

2 times in a row, I woke up thinking that I missed my presentation, or something else happened during presentation. It is freaky. It is traumatic to even think back to the moment I jump off bed thinking about my final crit. I seriously need some self-confidence. God, please fill me with confidence later, You know how afraid I am of presentation. I am giving it all to you, I really do. I want some peace and clarity of mind.

My 3D structural model which took me a whole day. And another half a day to get the angle right and to be half exploded correctly. It's pretty irritating sometimes when it comes to technology. But nonetheless, I had my part of fun.

CONCERT SETS

2011-04-13T01:41:00.000+08:00

I am so excited for CONCERT SETS next year! I got hopes and expectations high! SO EXCITED! You people must come and witness for yourself!!!

2011-04-11T23:10:00.000+08:00

WOW, I hope it is as easy as it says it is. Because my tears flow naturally. Not that I want them to. But I think my body is just reacting to all the stress. I can't stop it from flowing. But yet, I try to hide it from other people.

I bet after all these, I will cry the tears of JOY. Because my system will be able to rest, my system will be able to do whatever I want, whenever I want, whichever I want.

2011-04-11T00:05:00.000+08:00

ASdghastydgasiuhduasdasdajksdjkdabuknsdakdjmaksdhjadhuiasydiasjdkasasgdjaksdlaodaidkuiasuhgdabvdaksjdasdasdjamsdmmayskdmasnkdjhlasgdhiabsduicrweryeorxkeokruaeiurxoieyrarmgcaeycrtaeiurcmajskdmaudmdaslhdaksdmaksmhdkasduamdsmhdasmhdldashdkashduashdkuamhdkamhsdashduasmhdaskludhmasksakdmhakshdakshdaudhmasmudhasmoidhmasldmhasdhamsfshgbsldrkoeutrsiytroyupryproyiropyirppoi!!

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

2011-04-08T23:19:00.000+08:00

TIME is an ILLUSION!

About 240 hours left, I still got at least a sectional detail, 4 more sections, touching up of my plans, a axonometric exploded of my entire structure, my physical model, well, the list just never ends, and here I am blogging because, this is the only place I can get rid of all the stress, write all my heart out, complain everything I can, and then go back and CAD once again after this.

Seriously, I wonder how long can one last without sleep? And I wonder why nobody tells me about this lousy lifestyle that we architecture students have before I even stepped foot into this field, even though I think I will still decide on the same thing, and still end up here, CAD-ding my life away.

2011-04-07T14:22:00.001+08:00

Just

someone told me that someone, when she graduated with a masters in architecture, she burst into tears.

i think i can relate.

one year. two years. three years. four years seems too much. five years.

if i get past this. i am going to cry if i graduate. i really will.

A QUOTE FROM TIRZA's blog.

It seems really true. I think I really will cry if I graduate because I think architecture is really testing every part of me, physically,mentally, intellectually and even spiritually.

It's pretty amazing how more stressed up I am, the more I blog because it is the only way I am releasing them and keeping my sanity.

P/S: After this semester, I am so gonna go add some colour to my hair. I don't care if it is white, green,yellow, blue or red. A strand or the entire hair. I am gonna go add some colour to my life!!

2011-04-05T11:34:00.002+08:00

Sitting at a corner and pulling all my hair out seemed like a pretty thing to do. Then I don't need to mess with it because of the weather or bothering to comb it nicely after I shower. STRESS STRESS STRESS STRESS STRESS. Hate oversleeping and then still feel like shit, as if I didn't sleep at all, because everything is playing again and again in my brain. That is not sleep, that is so stressful.

Can somebody tell me how to relieve some stress? Effective and not taking up a lot of time? GOD HELP! I think I am reaching my limit soon enough. 12 more days, that is all I am asking for. Nothing is working out fine for me these days! I just need to make sure that I can finish everything on time..

This would be such a delight now. Can someone just deliver it over to RAFFLES HALL, National University of Singapore? I will be at the Upper Lounge! Haha...

OR ELSE, I give you the permission to kidnap me for an hour or so just for ice-cream!

The mini mini things that are worth sacrificing for.

2011-04-02T01:47:00.005+08:00

Tonight, or rather yesterday night was the 2nd week in a row that I missed the bus stop that I was supposed to stop at to get back to Raffles Hall after a whole long Friday. I slept on the bus because I was so tired. I missed the stop. I ended up walking damn far to get back to my room. Exercising in the middle of the night, after a long tiring day. Not something that I really wanted to do at that time of the day.A small little sacrifice that makes you wonder why do you do it, but at the same time, you know it is worth it because it sent a warmth tiny feeling in your stomach everytime you think about it.

These people, the people I call FAMILY here in Singapore. You guys got no idea how much I look forward for FRIDAY nights every week.

Who cares if Boon Keng is at the other end of the world?
Because that is the only place in the world that I rather be at on a FRIDAY night.

Who cares if it will take me another 30 mins to get back just to spend that extra 15 mins with you guys?
Because you guys make me feel so at ease that nothing else matter, I can always sleep in the bus and then walk a million miles away to get back because I know it's worth it.

Who cares if all my friends say I am crazy to go to Boon Keng every week when people from Boon Keng who stays in hall do not even go back every week?
Because it is there, that I can be at peace with God and make sure that I am not shunting Him out of my life. Because it is there, that I feel at home.

Who cares if I am gonna drop dead because of fatigue on Friday nights?
Because I know that at least one of you guys will be there to catch me when I fall.

Sorry that I have not been spending enough time with you peeps because of architecture. But THANK YOU for everything even though it seemed like nothing, sometimes all the SMSes really do help me pull through the day because I know you are there for me, as a family member and friend. Singapore don't seemed so uncaring,selfish and in it's own timezone anymore but filled with love, care and sincerity of its people.

2011-03-30T12:53:00.000+08:00

Therefore we do not lose heart. Even though our outward man is perishing, yet the inward man is being renewed day by day.

2 Corinthians 4:16

No matter how deep you are in Your troubles, God is there to pick and lift you up, nudge you to the surface when you begin to sink a little by a little until eventually you will be out of the neverending pool.

2011-03-27T15:51:00.001+08:00

What do you do when you are super stressed out?
You feel like pulling out every single strand of hair on your scalp.
The attempt to chill and relax didn't turned out the way it was supposed to be.
Putting up a smiling front when you know deep down inside, the stress level is already over the roof.
Nobody to help you because it is all inside.
Nobody understands. Nobody cares.
And worst, when you got nobody to talk to.
Well, maybe I do, I just don't dare to call just yet.
I know he will definitely come because he cares and bothers.

The Beauty of Black & White Photographs

2011-03-16T11:33:00.000+08:00

A random thought. A random surfing of net. And take a look at the photographs. Aren't they beautiful?
Will give more thought into B&W photography from now on. It will be great. Awesome. Beyond words. I will come out with my own album of B&W collections.

2011-03-15T23:43:00.000+08:00

Been emo-ing around for 2 days, wanting time alone and barely talking to anyone unless necessary. I just needed to get myself together. The people out there do not understand what I want or need, they just think that they do but they don't. This time, I just can't find anybody to talk to. Not even HH. It's sad that I can't find anybody to talk to when I needed it. It just proves that I am a girl with wide social web but close to none. The only person I can turn to is GOD. Someone I've neglected for a long long time. Someone that became a second part of me, and not the major part. I guessed I took the time out to search for HIM deep within me. I needed HIM, that's for sure. If everybody in the world is to abandon me, I am sure He will be there for me.

Standing alone in this world with a bright colourful umbrella to stand out. Nothing can beat that I suppose, at least for now. Because it will just be me and me alone, nobody to irritate me, nobody to give me all the stress, nobody to yell at me. Maybe I will be bored to my guts, but for now, I wouldn't mind. Humans are never satisfied with whatever they have anyway.

Sleep. Never my best friend. But somehow managed to become my enemy because every semester, it will come a time when I am really scared of it. God, I really need help. My cellgroup leader tried and tried to make sure I sleep but I don't think it's working very well. At least he tried and tried and still continue trying. I am thankful for him.

Somehow I wished I was back when I was a kid, nothing to worry about, nothing to stress about, just sleep whenever you need to, listen to your parents babble when you did something wrong, and then wakes up the next day, not remembering anything. Haha. LIFE.

LET GOD BE THE PRESIDENT AND NOT JUST A RESIDENT.

2011-03-13T20:55:00.000+08:00

Today, my heart seemed to be heavy after seeing Melvin left for San Francisco.

I mean, I know Melvin for that short period of time, almost a year, but hardly a year. But yet, as he walked into the departure hall, I am pretty sure that my heart dropped a tear. It's not that he is never coming back, he will be coming back every 2 months! Somehow, it felt as if I've lost a great leader.

A guy small in stature, but big in GOD. A guy with awesome photography skills. The things I've learnt from him in the past 9 months is way too much for me to contain.I always wanted to know his thought if he is ever gonna be in my shoes. Sometimes, it seemed distant, but most of the time, I am really sure, it felt as if I known him for years. Plenty he had impacted, plenty he had left pondering about God, plenty he had left shining the light of God in this world.

Melvin, a funny, comical guy. You will be missed by all of us here in N182/S35. I really hope that you will like the sketches that I've done for you because somehow everytime you preach, I just have the tendency to pick up my pencil and sketch you. You have always said thank you for all my tiny little gestures, but I really hope one day, the sketches will bring great inspirations to you just like how you had impacted my life subconsciously.

2011-03-08T10:53:00.000+08:00

To the extend of killing the stalker.
This is amazing.
I hope I can kill away whatever that is pulling me down.
And still I don't know what I want to do.
Life seemed to be so stagnant.
My design is not going anywhere, because most of the things I still can't justify them.
I sucked in reasoning things out.
My to-do list is never-ending, adding more than substracting.

Its the thought that matters.....

2011-02-19T11:29:00.003+08:00

Simple, but its the thought that matters.

Insisting that I have something to eat on my way back.
Giving me a packet of drink knowing that I didn't bring any with me.

Making sure that cell ends early enough for me to catch my last bus back.

Thanks for always being so thoughtful in the mini mini details.

It really did put a smile on my face yesterday after a long and lethargic day.

2011-02-17T21:58:00.000+08:00

I need motivation to continue.
I really do. Somebody help me!
I seemed to be out of them already.
No steam to work.
No inspiration to work.
Everything I do seemed to be wrong.
Nothing is working out right for me.
I tell people this is not what I want to do eventhough it is very interesting.
But I don't really know what I really want to do either. FML.
I shall just work and travel. I feel the best then.

2011-01-31T21:49:00.003+08:00

Today, I feel so useless again. I feel as if I've failed. I feel as if I am not supposed to be where I am today.
Hate this feeling, can't get rid of it as it will linger around everytime after studio session.

2011-01-22T09:15:00.000+08:00

GO STOP, a korean card game.

It's freaking addictive.

Installed the application on my phone.

Never stopped playing.

Played at least 2 games everyday.

Simple and fun.

Once you get the hang of it, it is exciting.

Yet still, I am confused with some of the pairing.

Procrastination is killing me softly. I know I need to step up to the pace but I am taking it all too slowly.

How do you abstract the idea of healing of Body, Soul and Mind into a Model? Erm, interesting but tricky as well. Hopefully I'll do well.

2011-01-13T21:28:00.001+08:00

Well, sometimes life sucks. You can't avoid it. So just accept it.
When the familiar becomes unfamiliar.
When the close becomes distant.
When the regular becomes irregular.
When the habit becomes strange.
When you feel everything is just so different.
There's nothing that you can do. So you will just have to adapt and accept it.
Maybe looking back at times and smile at the good memories.
And maybe this change will lead to something even bigger in the future.

And welcome to my new found obsession of shoes.

I seriously need to time manage everything!

2011-01-10T00:14:00.000+08:00

Tomorrow is the start of a new semester!!! And today I got myself a new handphone and a new purse! A great way to kickstart the new semester..

Sony Ericson Xperia X10 Mini

My new purse...Pretty right? I told the sales girl I want to take a look at all the white ones only..

Today I walked Singapore alone, to get all my errands done before the semester starts and strangely I felt as if I am walking in a strange land. A land that I do not know of any longer. The small changes here and there in the past 6 months really do make me seemed a little distant. Clementi, Causeway Point, CHC, N182/S35. It's good to be home but the post-exchange period is still taking over me.

I wake up to bring sunny morning, not a single snow in sight.
All we have here in Singapore is rain,rain and more rain. The weather is humid and hot, but according to locals, it is already cooling.
I do not hear Korean language any longer. Now, all I hear is Chinese and English. It used to be so rare to hear English.
Where are all the weird symbols that I can read but hardly understand? I don't want to forget them.
Where are all the crazy Korean friends? I miss them and their lame-ness.
When is the next time that I can go on random travelling again? Bus? Accommodations? Well...

Being home is great to a certain extend. It smacks reality back into me. Year 3 Sem 2 is already here. RIBA semester is already here. And I am still thinking about Korea.

Sometimes, talking about Korea makes it seemed more real and no longer a dream. The more I talk about it, the more real it becomes and it will strike me back that I am indeed THERE. Everything happened. Everything good happened. Someday I will be back. Someday I will walk the streets of Korea again.

2011-01-07T00:39:00.000+08:00

Back in Singapore...
Back in Raffles Hall...
Got a cool roommate...
A new semester is starting...
And all I want now is to start the semester on the right note!

2011-01-04T16:33:00.001+08:00

It's a few days into the new 2011...
I am slacking and wasting time back at home...
A few days of losing the sense of direction before school starts again..
Met up with some of the UM fellas, as usual, I forgot to take photos...
Later tonight, I will meet with my secondary school friends..
And the other day, finally met Aimee after what seemed like ages....of course, Yiny and Freddie and the Temptations..

Yeah, post-Korea syndrome been on and off...But guess, it will be there for a while...

After coming back to Korea, I realised that there are many things that are found in Malaysia that is special to Malaysia itself..Of course, the food! The people, the language, and etc.

2010-12-31T12:55:00.005+08:00

You got no idea how much I miss Korea now. The weather, the people, the environment, the craziness, the white beautiful snow,the not knowing what the locals are talking about, the difficulty of knowing how to read and not knowing what it meant,the snow, the disgusting room that I stayed in for 4 months,my studio, my evil twin, my 아빠, everything. My only way to get out of this post-Korea syndrome is sleeping my life away because somehow in my dreams, I can be back in Korea.

The beauty of the school compound (Hanyang University ERICA campus). The sunset scenery, the autumn with red and yellow leaves, the summer which is super duper hot and also the snow when it is winter. You can get almost every kind of photos at the very same spot at different time of the year.

Mr. Snowman and I. I didn't make that, I just happened to pass by so I decided to stop and make friends with him. He's even taller than me! I saw the guys who are responsible for his existence! Thank you!

On the other hand, this is what we made! Haha.. Look at the size difference! But it was fun! I am missing the times we had snow fights! And the expressions on our faces when it snows! And the joy and laughters we bring to the dormitory areas! Or rather noises...

All the crazy people I've known. Look at Park Ki-ok's 'dynamic' face, as according to him. Thanks for making studio life in Korea so fun! This is the first time, I actually loved working in studio! Haha.. Thank you for all the letting me being one of you guys!

2010-10-31T16:56:00.005+08:00

It's getting colder in Korea. Colder each day. That day I saw morning frost, where there is a layer of thin ice on the leaves and field. It was a pretty awesome sight. It is then that I realised that it is actually very cold. Lolz.

Went for G20 Summit Conference Concert 2010. A few big shot artists came. And it is totally FREE!!! There's Guang Liang who represented Malaysia. And it is pretty surprising to hear them singing along with Tong Hua. It's Korea afterall you see!

Jeonju was my destination for a short weekend trip after midterm. Traveling is really fun but must be with the right company, you seriously don't want to go with a complainer. And there, I continue my kids stalking activity.

The Jeondong Cathedral was really beautiful. It's exactly what I learnt in History of Western Architecture. The layout is exactly what is in the lecture notes. Going with Architecture students enable you to talk about Architecture anytime and they understand everything that you want to say.

The Hanok village was a disappointment. I would rather go to Seoul's Hanok Village, Bukchon, it feels more authentic there. I did more handicrafts in Jeonju, decorated a bag, ate a lot since it is indeed the land of good Korean food.

I shall end with this video. Love the dance moves. It's awesome. Korea is more fun than what I thought it would be.

P/S: It hurts to know that 2 friends are growing apart because of life circumstances. I miss the time when I used to tell you everything, everything that I felt because you are always there to lend a listening ear. Now, we seldom even buzz each other on MSN.

2010-10-17T23:45:00.004+08:00

Too cute not to post them up.. I remember how I always know every single Pokemon name and its specialty,type and weaknesses.. I can draw most of them, know every colour by heart and secretly hope that I am one of them.. Lolz..

Today, at Gyeongju, I saw 2 kids playing the Pokemon Trading Cards, and seeing their innocence reminds me how fun it was to be kids, just running about in the green open field without any care in the world except for crying when you lose your parents in the hypermarket and surrounded by rows and rows of cereals..

I was so excited when my studiomate said that Koreans eat chicken feet too! But it is really the most expensive chicken leg I've ever eaten but also one of the best (nothing can beat mushroom chicken feets back at home!) Worth it and worth going back again to eat! Cos I am make my own chicken feet rice ball! Lolz..

At the land of tombs, we ended up taking photos of flowers that are so pretty! Korea's clear blue sky is exceptionally beautiful! The entire district is filled with 'hills' of greenery and beautiful temple with really awesome architecture and experiential spaces from the past.. It's a layback, spontaneous, random weekend getaway with TV at night!

The kids are so adorable! Sometimes I really think my motherly instincts are overwhelming.. Haha.. Korean kids are super duper cute!

4 random people, barging into the land of Gyeongju without any planning in accommodation and transportation nor places where we wanna visit. Yet, a short, doing nothing much trip!

2010-10-10T23:54:00.002+08:00

Today, I really missed the church service of City Harvest Church.

I wished I was back there.

I don't really understand the message that is preached here even though I gave it many chances.

Maybe it is the Konglish, maybe it is just me.

I miss CHC!

2010-10-06T00:34:00.003+08:00

It's been cold the past few days... It's supposed to be autumn but the place that I am at now, ANSAN, apparently, there are no such thing as autumn, it is just summer and winter...So you will see me wrapping all up walking with the jacket all zipped up, all warm except for my fingers...It feels really weird to just have your fingers freezing...And Seoul haven't start selling gloves yet because it is not cold there just yet..

Studio outing after studio one day.. Grape soju, taste exactly just like Ribena! Haha... My studio consists of all girls and 2guys which is the guy in the photo and HTIN!

Took the world's steepest rollercoaster at Everland..Screamed my heart out! But wasn't as scary as I thought.. Sometimes I think I am so much more courageous now because I don't even remember taking the corkscrew at Genting Highlands because I was too scared...

Still stalking and looking out for cute little Korean kids.. They are adorable..Super adorable!

Mountain climbing with this bunch of crazy fellas.. They just screamed and shouted all the way out that I think all the birds just fly to another mountain all together... And Alan is never sick of jumping shots...

Stepped into a Hello Kitty Cafe in Hongdae.. Seriously, everything also Hello Kitty that even the male toilet also Hello Kitty design! You can find Hello Kitty top profile, front profile, side profile every where...

Just came back from Hanyang University Fall Festival 2010.. I think this is the only country in the world where you can find open space clubbing and more than 20 small stalls selling alcohol from beer, soju, martini, tequila and etc in a university compound! Everyone is clubbing in the open with a DJ on stage and getting high with all the alcohol that they can find.. So much for the no alcohol allowed in the dormitory..!

2010-09-18T23:35:00.002+08:00

Grandpa passed away on Thursday morning, I was shocked a little when Gina told me that. He's been up and down for the past few years. He's the only grandpa I know in my life.

I will never forget that Grandpa is the one who brought us to the Singapore Night Safari long long time ago when I was young. I remember the tapir which blocked the tram path, and the tram ride that we took because you can't really see anything in the dark.

Grandpa loves ice-cream, bak kut teh, and dim sum's chicken leg.. Everytime I go to Grandma's house, he always ask who am I, everytime asking me about Genting Highlands, mistaking me for grandma (when I sleeps on her bed), asking whether every single thing is good or not..Barely opening his eyes, he dozed off in front of the television, nodding every now and then.

Now, I think the next time I go to Grandma's house, there will be something missing. Something that may seemed a little distanced but still so dear. Grandpa will always be there no matter what. Grandpa, oh grandpa!

P/S: He was cremated today and thrown into the sea. Yet, I can't see it with my own eyes because I am in Korea.

2010-09-14T19:08:00.003+08:00

From first day of Korean class, I still am confused with some of the vowels, simple and complex, it is harder than I thought! Hard but interesting, can't wait for the day when I can converse a complete conversation with somebody in complete Korean!

Making my own fan for free! It's really nice to make handicrafts after so long! I am so going back to do the mask! I want the mask! Maybe I shall do it for Jason, then he won't complain that I didn't buy him anything!

The alone trip to Seoul Grand Park. Seoul Zoo. The only zoos I've been to in my entire life is Singapore Zoo and Malaysia National Zoo, now I can add another one in my list!

Seoul Zoo is really good, except for the fact that I couldn't enter the baby animals nursery because I was late, due to the Dolphin Show. We can touch the animals, feed them, pet them.

School had been slow. I am always thinking where should I go during the weekends, I am so sick of shopping already! Haha. Too much and Dongdaemun got 23 shopping centres right next to each other, you tell me, when do you ever stop at that rate!

I am going to conquer more mountains! Walk till my shoes make holes! Be on top of the world! Save money! Lolz. That is really random!

And I am ending this with a photo of pork knuckles! Took this shot at Namdaemun! I don't dare to even put that thing near my mouth, it looks terrifying!

2010-09-01T21:30:00.003+08:00

Theo Jansen exhibition! It's really awesome!

School officially starts today but for me, it starts tomorrow because I don't have classes today.

I've never seen my mentor yet when everybody else did but we did exchange some smses.

Coffee addiction is all because of Korea for giving me really good coffee!

No longer staying in Seoul Campus, so no more translucent wall in between the toilet cubicles, no more aircon, no more city life, no more hanging out till so late at night, no more working in SPACE, no more shopping till I drop.

I miss them! They brought me to Changdeokgung during office hours!

The kids are undeniably cute here, every single one of them!

Now in Ansan campus, the divider between cubicles are low, that if there is another girl taller than me showering next to me, she can just look at me, the bed is super high, the land is finally flat, and school is finally starting!

Climbed a mountain early in the morning, I think most of you are sleeping in bed!

Climbed 2 mountains in 3 days, walked an incredible amount of stairs that the moment I see any, I will walk away, trekked in the rain with a ponco for more than 5 hours, sunrise but ended up drenched in rain for 2 hours at Sunrise Peak! Had loads of fun in Busan and Jeju Island!

2010-08-13T12:23:00.002+08:00

My third week in Seoul but I have not uploaded any photos. The internet at hostel sucks, so I can't upload any photos to facebook.

Colleagues been really nice, some of them is really funny, lame and always making me laugh, some of them tries very hard to talk to me, which I thank God for them because they tried, some always asking how am I doing, rotting away in front of the computer, some tell me what is worth visiting in Korea, while some are pretty amazed when I open my mouth and Korean language comes out of it.

Another 5 days. I think I will miss this place when I am supposed to leave. The place where I can have status: At SPACE staring at space. I will miss making models, rotting, asking for work with the pleading face, lunchtime, how I complete their sentence for them and having all the maps on my table as if I am some Seoul tour guide.

2010-07-29T22:16:00.003+08:00

안녕하세요

Greetings from Korea!

Been interning for 2 days. But I feel more like a tourist rather than an intern because I've been walking around the streets with my camera, snapping photos here and there.

Internet here sucks for the time being so I can't really upload any photos.

I saw Theo Jansen exhibition today!

Quite happy that at least I am not sitting in the office rotting away.

Hopefully tomorrow I can start model-making!!!

Reality Check!

2010-07-21T23:18:00.001+08:00

I'm flying off to Korea in another 5 days. I don't know how I am feeling inside. Half excited and half reluctant. I don't know what to expect in the next coming half a year. The previous semester was so bad that it keep infecting my mind whether will I be able to design well for the upcoming design project. I am living in the fantasy of this summer whereby the module that I take enable me to learn about architecture and not worry so much about the results, but as soon as the summer ends, I will come back to reality that results matters a lot.

Maybe I can find a boyfriend just like him in Korea (dream-on, Anna). Haha. I didn't really like him when he played the main lead in Boys Over Flower, I think most probably because of his curly hair which I hated a lot. Now watching this other drama which he acts in too, he looks so much better in it.So appealing. Well, it's about time for me to check back into reality. Knock knock!

2010-07-07T17:41:00.004+08:00

IT's been ages since I last update.. Very lazy to do so, cos coming home mean sitting down and slacked my days away.. A lot more to update about, how exciting my Taiping trip was, how the entire UM-NUS thing turned out to be more than I expected, the spontaneous Batam trip, etc etc...

Plus, the internet had been really sucky! Streamyx better pull their socks up, no wonder everyone is changing plans already...

This is one of the photo we took at Batam.. you got no idea how hard it is for us to take this photo...

2010-06-14T08:30:00.001+08:00

Somehow seeing this reminds me of Chin Wei..

Laughter is always the best medicine..And Anna without laughter will no longer be Anna..

2010-06-04T00:41:00.000+08:00

How's Taiping treating me?

Well, I am enjoying myself so far despite all the tiredness and far distance walking.

I haven't been to this town in my entire 21 years of life but just barely hearing about it.

Will blog more about it soon when I have the time.

2010-05-25T02:17:00.002+08:00

Been in UM (University of Malaya) for the past 2 nights.

Did nothing much, just some lectures, eating sessions with the students here,

a walk down town while the tutor explains the history (which was interesting because I didn't know KL got so much interesting history)

Will be heading to Malacca tomorrow for a one day trip.

Then to Taiping for the next 10 days!

2010-05-21T02:03:00.003+08:00

The best thing about my journey back to Singapore today besides all the bus shit, is the fact that I was 'picked' up by 2 smart-looking guys just like the picture above. The only difference is imagine these 2 goblots below as the dudes above, minus the tuxedos and their high tech gadgets..

(haha, I think these photos are taken the semester before the previous semester)

Well, it's really nice to see some familiar faces before heading back to this almost dead hall because it is holidays. And the feeling of walking around City Hall with 2 bodyguards are pretty awesome, one in-charge of taking my luggage and the other in-charge of entertaining me. Lolz. Too bad I didn't manage to snap any pictures of them dressed so smartly.

I had an awesome super early dinner with them just now. They are still full of nonsense which makes me laugh everytime I am around them. These 2 peeps makes me feel so comfortable around them which makes them FAMILY. Hall during the holidays are different with them around because I know I can always find them in their room either DOTA-ing their life away or slacking.

2010-05-18T00:29:00.006+08:00

They are the reasons why I love coming back to KL.Just sitting back, relax and chit-chatting until the sun comes down is the perfect way to start my summer..It is always interesting to listen to all the dramas that are happening in other universities, then I will be comparing them to what I witnessed and experienced in mine..

I went to watch Thomas Cup Semifinals live the other day with Gina since it is just opposite my house, so why waste the chance? Quite interesting to see how the local fan crowd worshipped our badminton players and also 'Boo-ing' and 'Woo-ing' everytime the shuttlecock are hit. I guess all the patriotic songs that they make us sing when we are in school works in situation like this because when the songs are played, you just sing along.Quite a disappointment, but what to do, our players crumbled under pressure. Sometimes, too much crowd support can add more burden instead of lessening them.

But that is roughly how I spend my entire week, visiting grandma who keeps hallucinating, watch badminton matches on TV, read books, catch up with friends before everyone gets busy again,facebook and sleep of course.

Well, it may be shitty somewhere in the middle of the week, a cup of ice-cream and a day out with friends or Mum and Gina make things a lot brighter, because all I do is...

and be who I want to be...

2010-05-16T02:39:00.001+08:00

I didn't feel it the other day.

But today, I felt the pinch. And I don't freaking see the rational behind all of it.

Irrational, childish, immature, and selfish.

I got so sick of it already.

I don't even want to waste anymore energy on it. Why bother?

I wasted enough and done enough. I don't even want to be linked to it anymore.

If only, all I think about is how hot he is in this picture. Then life will be great.

I took a dip at granny's swimming pool today. I loved how when I emerged from the water, I hear the sounds from the surrounding and when I am underwater, everything is still. Close your eyes and all you can hear is nothing or maybe someone splashing nearby. Underwater, everything dissolves!

Hey you! Yes you! (fill in whatever you want!) Lolz.. Haha.. He is hot, no doubt about it!

Man, I love these photos!

The End of Year 2

2010-05-11T22:23:00.002+08:00

I've been thinking how to write this.

What to write, what to include and what not.

Then I decided not to really talk about my architecture life unless necessary because I already have a whole entry about it.

I started the year, hanging out with a new bunch of friends, a bunch, I didn't imagine I would be friends with.However, sometimes, we can't just judge people according to what they do or their habits.Jessen, Si Jia, Lloyd, KX,Thomas, these people if you see from the outside, they seemed a little in their own tiny little world, but if you do know them a little better, you get to know the nice side of them that they hide from the world. They just do things their way. I learnt and experienced a lot from these peeps. They make me think a lot.Thank you for always listening to me and for giving me advices. Love the sessions at the balcony and all the going out for dinners and suppers. This messed up bunch of friends might even be the reason I am messed up too. Well, they say that friends do influence your life one way or another. I still love you pumpkins!

Hall life been rather weird because in the first semester, even though we were in Yr2, it still feels as if we were freshies in hall because there are no freshies that came in due to the renovation. So we were sort of like freshies for 2 years in a row. Then suddenly in 2nd semester, a whole bunch of strangers came in and suddenly we are seniors! Ta-dah! Just like that! And to be frank, I know nobody from the so-called 'freshies' batch.

Yeah, special thanks to the Indy peeps too for making my 2nd year so memorable. It is always you people who put the smile on my face when I am feeling all stressed up and down. Those random supper and mass convos, card games, room sessions, those outing and birthday celebration. I have to admit, I haven't been spending enough time with you guys, but thank you for always including me in every event and email list. You guys are the best bunch! And thank you for making an effort to ensure that we are still sticking together until now.

And my neighbours, who mostly are the Indy peeps too. Crystal who always have her alarm blasting through the roof but never ever wakes up to it, Hwee Shan who seriously have trouble with her biological clock. I love you girls, and those random gossiping at the corridors. Yi Shiean who is in her own world with Chee Chung most of the time, but I still love you nonetheless and thank you for listening to me grumble almost everyday about my neverending projects. Looi and JY who have to suffer from my random barging into the room and sleeping on your beds and thank you for listening to my craps. It meant a lot to me. And finally AWL, the one who stays up late with me because he too have to rush models and panels! Haha, at least with him around, I won't be the only one with lights on at 5am in the morning.

Huihua! How can I forget you! The nightly walks to Cheers, the one who keep me sane this semester! The one who goes crazy too because of architecture and oh man, you sure work too hard girl! I can't imagine how next semester is gonna be like with you at Nederlands and me at Korea, I think I am gonna die! No more nightly walks, no more HTHT sessions that keep me sane, no more random-ness to keep me awake at night to do CAD-ding, no more insanity from you that keep me smile, no more TUID in FBT shorts, bla bla bla (the list seemed neverending!). Thank you for all that! See, you mean so much to me! Stop complaining. And when are you going to get together with Htin? Lolz.

The RHAU gang, the healthy gang, always end up walking or cycling a lot with them around. Architecture is more fun with them around. We can always talk about architecture from the break of dawn to the sun comes down. Neverending, even though we tell ourselves we want a break from architecture. Every time I feel like giving up, you peeps are always there to encourage me. Every time I feel that all hopes are gone, you peeps are there to tell me it's not because you all can't finish your stuffs too! We go through interim and all the crits together, even though we are not in the same studios. At least, you guys understand what I had to go through. Those engineers in hall say they understand, but they actually DON'T! Lolz.

Lastly, me, myself and I. This year had been a crazy year. I didn't expect it to turn out the way it did but I do find myself changed. A change that I'd feared and tried to run away from it but eventually getting used to it. I am a little more matured, I think of things from a different perspectives and not the usual angles, I learnt to be a little more critical, I am a little more independent now, I am in touch with my emotions even though sometimes losing control of them, I know a little bit more about what friendship really is and I know myself a little better, some things that I found in myself that I never thought I will. Now, I am in a new learning process! Sometimes, it is okay to be giving more than receiving. It is what makes me who I am. I bless the people around me just by being me, ANNA YAP!

Change; we don’t like it, we fear it, but we can’t stop it from coming. We either adapt to change or we get left behind. And it hurts to grow, anybody who tells you it doesn’t is lying. But heres the truth: the more things change, the more they stay the same. And sometimes, oh, sometimes change is good. Oh, sometimes change is everything.

MEREDITH GREY

It was a tough year. But a great year indeed because I benefited from it. Looking forward to the next one, and gosh, I won't be seeing some of them for more than a year!

2010-05-03T09:52:00.003+08:00

MEREDITH: At some point you have to make a decision. Boundaries don’t keep other people out; they fence you in. Life is messy, that’s how we’re made. So you can waste your life drawing lines or you can live your life crossing them. But there are some lines that are way too dangerous to cross. Here’s what I know, If you’re willing to take a chance, the view from the other side is spectacular.

Grey’s Anatomy; 1x02 The First Cut is the Deepest

2010-05-03T00:19:00.005+08:00

So now I am not only losing one but both.

I don't know what I can be expecting anymore.

Everyone is leaving. One after another.

And now you say you are walking out of my life.

When I got used to you being there, always there when I needed you.

All I want is to do now is GO HOME.

When can I ever see that smile again?

2010-05-01T14:34:00.003+08:00

Sometimes I wonder why do I bother helping others when they do not even help themselves in the first place?

N182

2010-05-01T00:13:00.003+08:00

New cell group. New people. New condition. New environment. New culture. A whole lot of people.

Remember the change entry a few weeks back. Well, I changed cellgroup already. No longer S35 but now, it is N182!

I was supposedly one of the 3 person who was supposed to shift to another cellgroup. However, the night before the change I got an SMS from Stephen that I was actually changing with the rest of the S35 or rather say, the rest of the S35 will be going over to another group with me.

I got to admit, there are a lot to get used to in this new cellgroup.

The amount people total up to 40 plus. I mean, OMG, this is even bigger than my tutorial group and the largest cellgroup I have ever attended. It is like 1/5 of the YC that I used to be in.

It always ends so late. So I have to always rush back for the last bus what more stay back for fellowship. And I take a very long time to settle in a cellgroup, so this will be a challenge for me.But I believe that they are a bunch of interesting people to get to know.

A lot to get used to, but I believe that I can do it!

I can get to know more people, and expand my social web!

It's been very interesting so far. And I am looking forward for more.

P/S: Going home soon! Yayness! People in KL, please look out for me! Anna is coming back! Lolz..

2010-04-28T18:32:00.005+08:00

Just finished my first paper a few hours ago...

How it went? I don't know.. I know I didn't prepare enough for it..It's all memorizing work la which totally sucks because I don't memorize stuffs.. But I leave everything into God's hands..

One down! One more to go!!!

Life's been fairly well these days besides the fact that I keep eating and sitting and eating and sitting and sleeping and of course too much Facebooking..I think I am a Facebook addict...

Here's a few food for thought that I find interesting these few days while browsing at how other people update their status....

When Love exists, you should state it. What's the point of keeping it in your heart when it has to be given to someone for Love to grow? Why is it so hard to tell someone you love them when it is a privilege to love in the first place?

"It's better to never love than to love the wrong person." Discuss.

Well, it's funny to see all the comments popping up whenever these kind of status is updated, people asking how are you?, people giving in their comments and etc.. I don't agree with the second statement though because I always think it is indeed a privilege to love and there is no such thing as loving the wrong person..

MY CORNER

2010-04-21T21:54:00.006+08:00

It looked as if I am holding a grudge, but I am not.

In fact, I like the space I am at now.

Well, I am actually glad that I shifted here despite everything.

It's my reflection area. Somewhere I can be myself.

Yeah, maybe at that period of time, I've been pissed off but now, I am not.

I like my corner.

A place where I can be immersed in whatever I am doing and nothing else matters.

A place where I can be myself.

A place where I can see what is happening to the others outside and laugh.

A place where I can see a clear boundary between the both of us.

A place where I can find comfort in after a long day.

A place where I can be shunned off whenever I want to be.

A place where I don't need to care what is happening in the room.

A place where I can calm myself down when everything starts to be annoying and irritating.

A place where I can blast my music to myself when everything else becomes noisy.

Maybe next time when I need to leave this corner, I will leave all the bad memories behind and take the good ones.

Let the bad ones become stains on the wall. The good ones off with me.

Then RH can renovate it however they want it to be.

I like this corner.I love this corner.

2010-04-21T00:26:00.002+08:00

Gosh, I really want to go to Shanghai for World Expo.. Everyone else is going.. But why can't I? Easy, because I can't afford it.. I will go for the next one I tell myself, and I will find money to fund myself to the next one.. I am missing out on all the awesome architecture that will be there in Shanghai..

This is the Polish Pavilion.. The facade is a little unique compared to the others..

This is the UK Pavilion,it is made out of acrylic rods sticking out with a plant seed in each of the rods..

This is the Singapore Pavilion.. It is a musical box..

This is Malaysia Pavilion, it represents the huge huts that can be found in Malaysia..

I really really want to go! If only, money drops from the sky, what JOY!

2010-04-18T00:50:00.004+08:00

Today is the day that a change is supposed to come!

Well, the change came! Just that it isn't as drastic as I thought of it until I confirm with the rest of the details..

You peeps mean more to me than I could ever imagine! Love ya!

2010-04-15T14:42:00.003+08:00

Okay, I don't know what kind of entry will this be.. I am thinking it will be a reflection entry on my Architecture Year 2 Semester 2 09/10 but I got a feeling that it will turn out to be a complain entry instead..It might be the shittiest semester so far, but I got to admit I learnt quite a lot of things, and it is this semester that made me realised that I became more matured in many different aspects.

So, I just finished final crit which marks the end of design for Yr2Sem2.

This semester had been crazy for me, be it school and what not.

So this post, I will talk mainly on school only.

P3- The project on Tan Swie Hian Museum.

Initially, I really thought I started well in this project, well, maybe not like flying over the moon kind of well, but sort of like able to make it kind of well. But as I progressed from the abstraction of 2D to 3D to volume and space, I find myself losing it slowly, a little bit by a little bit. I don't know what was I doing, I keep drawing plans after plans after plans but I am not doing it architecturally. I was just dividing spaces into functional spaces or rather say dividing the space then allocating the function to the space as how I liked. I was trying very hard but I can't seemed to get it right. I didn't even have a proper scheme that could actually work even like 3 days before final submission. I really thought I was screwed. Then during final crit, I managed to pull through a little by coming up with a simple scheme which portrayed my intention even though it was not developed at all.It was still the worst crit session I ever had then. I remembered Peter Sim saying that he was pretty worried about me on the Monday before Wednesday submission when he met me, because I didn't have a scheme then too. So I sort of scraped through P3, knowing where my problem lies, and what architecture meant to me. I know I love architecture, but being able to do it or not is something that is not in my control. It is during this project, that for the very first time, I actually seriously thought of quitting school. What's the use of staying in architecture if even my tutor asked me why am I there? Not one tutor, but 2 tutors.

But looking back, at least I know where I went wrong now, and am trying very hard to overcome the problem a little bit by a little bit. I need to start seeing space differently. I need to change the way I look at things.

P4-The project on Little India

This project started out pretty ordinary, visiting the site, doing site analysis, and of course, slacking a little now that we are no longer under Lilian Chee (which eventually I wished she is still here because I got so much more to learn and she is one of the few tutor who can push me to my limit). I started with defining my own concept of exchange. From the emphasis of the back alley, I eventually changed the concept into something simpler, which is exchange in the form of interaction. At first I really thought I gave in to my tutor that why emphasize on the back alley when you know you are fighting a losing battle, but eventually I found out that deep inside of me, I know the back alley concept is something that I couldn't handle because it is too conceptual and abstract while the interaction concept is more relevant and is something that I can relate to easily.

So I was not used to the way Patrick Chia design at first because I really didn't know what I was doing. Well, most of the people in my studio also didn't know what we were actually doing. So, we wasted one week there. Then come the designing part, I sort of know my intention of the whole building is but session after session after session of 1-to-1 studio with him, made me realised that I still don't have what it takes to be at my current level, Yr2Sem2. It feels as if I am supposed to be back in Yr1, learning how to conceptualize my ideas. But, I have to thank Patrick Chia for actually being so patient with me, always telling me ways to tackle architecture because really know nothing whenever he ask me questions, be it about any building or just a regular dimension of a chair. I realised that I really got a lot to learn. What had I been doing with my past 21 years of my life? Sit in Malaysia, go to and fro from school, studying what the government threw at me, then vomiting everything out during exams. All for the sake of studying. Now start to think about it, I didn't really learn anything. I was living life because I was supposed to, not because I want to.

Coming back to school, I still find myself struggling really hard to craft spaces the way I want them to be. Everything I do seemed so wrong! Every line I draw seemed to be meaningless. I don't want that, I want something more, something that satisfies, something that I know is right when I do it. I want my every line to bring meaning.I know I am still learning.I am learning the basic of architecture once again.

So final crit just passed, and the comment that I got was like, ' Your design will be famous on every website and magazine, for being the worst inn any backpacker can ever stayed in'. Wow, how would you react to such a comment, well, I just stood there and smile because I know deep down inside, it's actually quite real after listening to the reasons why they said that statement.

Still after P4, I still find myself always just assigning the space and nothing more. I need to break out from this boundary. I need to break free from it. I need to step to another level of architecture. But during this P4, it hit me when the tutors say that I am not sensitive enough to the space that I'd created. I am just creating the space for the sake of creating it. It is more like, I am doing the assignment for the sake of doing.

After all this, I know I got a lot more to learn. Now I am pretty upset that I am not living to the standard that I set myself to, but I know I will get there someday.

For now, I WANT TO GET BACK TO THE BASIC OF ARCHITECTURE!

I am going to design a fantastic architecture. I am going to learn as much as I can, while I can.

Yes, I am crying while typing this. This semester had its ups and downs. I hate the down parts but I learnt from it.

NO, I AM NOT GOING TO LET ARCHITECTURE TAKE OVER ME!

2010-04-12T08:31:00.003+08:00

Now looking at you, I don't know what is going on in my head.

All the times that we used to have seemed to fade away slowly and painfully.
I can see you walking away into the dark.

I am holding onto the sweet memories.
It is these memories that is keeping me where I am now.
The smile, laughters, fun and joy.

Yet, as the days passed, I find myself trying to distance away.
Maybe it is my way of self-protection after what I've been through the whole semester.
Maybe I just need some space for myself and nothing else.

This song is really soothing! Haha..
At least it is keeping me sane from all the coming stress due to submission!
Less than 2 days left, but I still got so much to do! Help!
I need to de-stress that's why I am blogging!

2010-04-10T12:36:00.010+08:00

Gosh, Stevie Hoang is freaking good! And he do look pretty decent and hot... Lolz..

I'm going crazy due to final submission date drawing nearer!!!!!

I don't even dare to sleep which kind of explains my insomnia...It feels as if I really am productive but, the results is still far from being seen!

I still got models, digital models and CADDing to do, and of course the detail of Akicon!

2010-04-08T03:40:00.006+08:00

It's my 300th post.. I can't believe I've been blogging for so long..But it seems that this 300th anniversary post will still be an emo post..

We've used to be so close. Close friends indeed.

Now, I feel the awkwardness of even staying in the same room.

The same room, the same old me and you, but we just don't talk like we used to anymore.

It's like you are there but not there.

You are sitting in front of me, but I can't feel your presence.

It feels like we're total strangers.

There seemed to be an invisible barrier between the both of us.

Something that is keeping us apart. Something that is separating us.

Maybe it is something along the way that I did.

Maybe it is something I did by mistake.

I really don't know. I really don't know.

I can't find anything to say to you. And you just don't seemed to bother.

The amount of words we exchange in a day is pathetic. Unbelievable.

I miss the laughters that we used to have.

I miss rambling everything to you.

I miss the random MSN chat that we always had.

I miss the crazy things that we did.

I miss you.

Please God! I miss having her as my friend. I miss the friendship. I miss her. Help me restore the relationship! It's eating me up slowly. You know how important this is to me!You know how sucky I am in handling this kind of shit! Amen!

2010-04-06T20:14:00.003+08:00

I found this picture online the other day..I am in fact attracted to it for some unknown reason..Maybe I am just waiting for my guardian angel to come and tell me that everything will be fine..

So it's been 2 days since I came back from KL..Yeah, I might be more productive now despite all the facebook games that I'm playing.. But still I need to be even more productive seeing that final submission is like 8 days away..So this trip back to KL improved my productivity level but somehow inside, I feel as if I left my emotion bank back there..It seemed that these days, I am laughing because I think it is the right thing to do, I'm talking lesser which is rather odd since I talk so much that sometimes I wished I can shut up, I am smiling lesser for no reason, I am spamming others on MSN because it seemed like the thing I would want to do, suddenly all I want is a peace and quiet room where I can shut myself in with all my architecture stuff..

I got no idea since when had this blog became such a boring, emo and full of complain blog but I will still blog here since this is the place I feel free..

On another note,

I FREAKING NEED A NEW PAIR OF SLIPPERS!!!!!

can a pair of slippers just appear in front of my room for me? Lolz...

2010-04-04T16:29:00.005+08:00

I am back to reality.. Final submission is in another 9 days time and I still got loads to do.. Acoustics assignment is due in a few hours time and I still havent finish it yet..Another one month and I will be back in KL again! What joy! Lolz..

So granny is a little more fragile and weak..She is always complaining that she is in pain (which I don't doubt since she is so old already).. All she do all day long is sit there,watch TV and doze off whenever possible..YET, I still love her, she is very dear to me, always making sure I eat enough (that's explain my body size), her black sauce chicken wings are the best in the world.. I will be back to see her next month!!!

I took the picture above yesterday. It was a pendant that Sue Ann gave me when I first came to Singapore. Now I am wearing it everyday to remind myself to let Christ be the centre of my life..

2010-04-02T18:36:00.004+08:00

After my short sudden trip back to Home Sweet Home, I will hold onto the 2 sticky notes above and continue running the race.

In the meantime, I will enjoy my stay back at home!And end with a random Korean boyband MV..Lolz..

2010-04-01T11:34:00.002+08:00

After much consideration and sessions of talks with friends, I'd made up my mind that I will start anew!

We shud take the past and learn from it.. Not look at it and be miserable and let it affect the present!

Sometimes it might be difficult to do so, but I believe there is much greater things in the future that is waiting for me to conquer!

Thank you, God!

Thank you, peeps! (Well, I sure hope you know who you are)

P/S: I am heading back to KL for the weekend! Yaynes! Just when I needed it the most!

2010-03-31T13:33:00.002+08:00

    He who seeks truth shall find beauty

    He who seeks beauty shall find vanity

    He who seeks order shall find gratification

    He who seeks gratification shall be disappointed

    He who considers himself a servant of his fellow beings

    shall find the joy of self expression

    He who seeks self expression shall fall into the pit

    of arrogance

    Arrogance is incompatible with nature

    Through nature the nature of the universe and the nature of

    man we shall seek truth

    If we seek truth we shall find beauty

      ~ Moshe Safdie

2010-03-28T01:52:00.005+08:00

Sometimes when you think you are sort of done with a certain segment of life, it will start creeping in unknowingly, affecting your mind and thoughts, forcing you to re-think of the decision that you've made, then life will start to cave in, and you don't know what to do that tears rolled down unknowingly.

By then, I've decided to leave everything to God instead of doing it by myself.

He gave me the way to handle it.

He gave me the courage for even requesting for a confrontation.

He gave me the strength inside to face whatever outcome it might be.

He gave me the assurance that I won't lose any of them.

He gave me the conviction that the decisions I've made are correct.

He gave me the power to hold myself together despite everything.

I had a lot of stuffs running in my mind the past few days.

I am trying to get one by one of it straight.

Managed to accomplish some, while some not quite yet.

Now, I am sensing that the Anna that I know is coming back.

ANNA is up and running again!

P/S: It's really nice to know how I had impacted somebody else's life without me even noticing it.

2010-03-22T19:40:00.004+08:00

Things happened and passed.

I realised that I am more mature than I think I am.

I am proud of the decision I made previously.

No regrets.

The boundary between what are friends and what is more.

I am able to handle things that I know I can't if it was thrown at me earlier.

Friends are what keeping me through all these.

And sorry is not what I want to hear.

Keep it up, stay clear, be myself!

2010-03-12T02:36:00.002+08:00

So I went and watched Alice In Wonderland 3-D with my Akicon group to mark the end of concrete sculpting..

Now I am sitting down and youtubing, watching dance clips.. I really wonder, if I actually have the time, will I actually go and try dancing.. It seems pretty interesting...