Sunday, June 15, 2014

Disappointed.

Sometimes it makes me wonder.
Why do people, humans in general have trouble understanding each other?
Why is it so hard to tell you people that the way you guys handled the matter just made the situation at home so much worst?

Yeah, everybody is worried, I would be if I were in your shoes, but instead of trying to reassure my family that I will be okay because you guys believe I will, you guys just bang the gong and made the whole Singapore worry about me, which in turn made it worst at home because to them at home, they've asked a million people, nobody could at least say something reassuring to them? So from a few person, to all my friends and family in Singapore? Haven't you thought of whether it might be how you've phrased things to my friends until those who knows I will be okay,as I always would suddenly turned anxious as well? And because they've turned anxious, it made people at home even more anxious since people who initially are not anxious also became anxious?

You guys know very well where I will be and what I am doing the entire weekend.

I stayed alone for more than half a decade already.
The last thing I want is the people at home to worry, and the only thing I expect from you guys is to know that, and to act according to it. Not making it worst for my family at home.

One text message is enough to know what you think of me. Haven't you thought of it being in my shoes instead? Just think of it objectively from my point of view instead. Then the way you phrase your text message to me would also be different, because now, it didn't even show a slightest clue that you've tried to see it from my side.

So much for relying on friends whom I thought understand me.
No wonder sometimes I find myself relying on myself more! Even more these days.

Everybody makes mistakes, I know, I am not excluded from it.
I am sorry because the words I've said have hurt you in a way or another.
I am sorry I didn't express it very well as well.
I really thanked God so many times this week that these people made an effort to find me no matter what it takes.
I thanked God for the family I love more than anything.

Don't even know why am I rambling on this because it is seriously not worth it.
I am more disappointed than angry.
More disappointed in MYSELF than anybody else.
Maybe I got myself to blame to begin with.