Sunday, October 12, 2014

The Little Golden Brick

A golden brick reminder at a golden time of change such as this.
"For every house is built by someone, but God is the builder of everything."
- Hebrews 3: 4 (NIV) -

The day for the change finally came. It wasn't easy but it wasn't too hard either.
Maybe because I know the people there beforehand, so I can dare say it is easier for me.

However, I find myself talking a lot more than usual. Why do I do that?
These people just seemed to be so interested in my job, the things I do and the things that I love to do.
A change I find so queer in myself is that I am perpetually sharing about myself and my passion.
I wasn't like that in the past, I used to keep to myself most of the time. Just sharing random interesting facts every now and then.
Maybe now, the only difference is I got loads of interesting facts in my head.
The surroundings on Fridays and Sundays will be very very different from now on.

I know it will take some time for me to settle down in this new environment.
I will be struggling, but yet I will keep myself cool and get to know these people.
Early this year, I said to myself, 'I want to be an effective vessel of God no matter where He places me; in S35, my workplace, or anywhere else.'

When He placed me in S35, I gave everything I have to S35 because I always believed that I am there for a reason. Now, there won't be any difference, I will still be the little brick that I promised God I will be because He is the builder of everything and He knows the time and tide for a little brick like me.

I thank God for the experiences and encounters that He gave me so far.
I thank God for the people I met along the way, those that stick around, and those who still make an effort to stay connected to me.

Just keep building the Kingdom of God in the ways that God had placed in me.
Reaching out and being a support to those who needs my help.
A vessel for Christ.
I've been on the receiving end for the past few years, now, it is time that I am the one giving instead.

Sunday, August 24, 2014

CHANGE... ANSWERED part 2!

All these while it is all about me. Doing the things I like, eating the things I crave for, everything is based on my schedule, etc.

Now I think I should change. Doing stuffs for the opposite party instead so that I can see from the other perspective. To understand the other point of view and to get a different revelation.

I have been amazed at how God had answered all my prayers this year and I am still amazed at it.
So much is happening now that it is difficult for me to digest everything but I have to learn to take things one step at a time.

I am loving life, and living life for Christ. ;)

Thursday, August 14, 2014

ANSWERED

It's amazing how prayer get answered so accurately.

The previous post I wrote out my prayer list.
This post I dare say that the prayer is answered.

And I'm gonna welcome myself to a busy working life soon enough but hey, I am super duper happy.

Monday, July 14, 2014

Expecting more and more!

So these days, it seems as if work is overwhelming. However, after I prayed about it yesterday night, I am going to share one that I have a strong desire will happen. SCLD to get another conservation project, be it in Singapore or out of Singapore. I love the vision that my boss has,he gives attention to things most landscape architect do not. I know how my boss is worried despite already submitted and attended so many interviews. I pray that we will get another project that will keep us excited. One simple prayer request. Another exciting project that comes our way!

Tuesday, July 8, 2014

Overwork

So after almost one year in the office, I am in a season where I felt I am overworked.
Some days I wake up, I am excited to go to work.
Some days I wake up, I dreaded to go to work.
I find myself going to office earlier and earlier and leaving office later and later each day. Worst of all, I find myself going back on Sundays even!!!

Whose expectation am I trying to meet?
I think mostly it is my own expectations of myself, besides the fact that the client is giving me loads of deadlines also.

How on earth do people OT everyday?
I am so sick of OT-ing. I love my job, wouldn't trade it for anything else in the world, but I just can't understand why do I need to work as if I am 3 persons in one. Can't wait for my carefree weekday nights to come back to me!

Now on a brighter side, I am indeed on a steep learning curve. Everyday I felt as if I am being saturated with new capability, new skill, new shortcuts, new way of management, new discoveries. I love the new growth level but maybe not the rate that I am growing in now.

PS: Landscape Architects still has the best job on earth. Yay to that!

Sunday, June 15, 2014

Disappointed.

Sometimes it makes me wonder.
Why do people, humans in general have trouble understanding each other?
Why is it so hard to tell you people that the way you guys handled the matter just made the situation at home so much worst?

Yeah, everybody is worried, I would be if I were in your shoes, but instead of trying to reassure my family that I will be okay because you guys believe I will, you guys just bang the gong and made the whole Singapore worry about me, which in turn made it worst at home because to them at home, they've asked a million people, nobody could at least say something reassuring to them? So from a few person, to all my friends and family in Singapore? Haven't you thought of whether it might be how you've phrased things to my friends until those who knows I will be okay,as I always would suddenly turned anxious as well? And because they've turned anxious, it made people at home even more anxious since people who initially are not anxious also became anxious?

You guys know very well where I will be and what I am doing the entire weekend.

I stayed alone for more than half a decade already.
The last thing I want is the people at home to worry, and the only thing I expect from you guys is to know that, and to act according to it. Not making it worst for my family at home.

One text message is enough to know what you think of me. Haven't you thought of it being in my shoes instead? Just think of it objectively from my point of view instead. Then the way you phrase your text message to me would also be different, because now, it didn't even show a slightest clue that you've tried to see it from my side.

So much for relying on friends whom I thought understand me.
No wonder sometimes I find myself relying on myself more! Even more these days.

Everybody makes mistakes, I know, I am not excluded from it.
I am sorry because the words I've said have hurt you in a way or another.
I am sorry I didn't express it very well as well.
I really thanked God so many times this week that these people made an effort to find me no matter what it takes.
I thanked God for the family I love more than anything.

Don't even know why am I rambling on this because it is seriously not worth it.
I am more disappointed than angry.
More disappointed in MYSELF than anybody else.
Maybe I got myself to blame to begin with.

Thursday, May 29, 2014

Landscape Architect

I am so blessed. So blessed indeed! For a working environment that enables me to grow and learn under someone who is willing to teach!


I thank you for the passion You've placed in me to be an aspiring landscape architect. I grow to love my job more and more. It might be stressful at times but I thank you that You've placed in me a heart to learn new things, a spirit that is not afraid to make mistakes eventhough it is a big project. I thank you for giving me this opportunity! I am so blessed indeed!

Thursday, May 8, 2014

Mount Kinabalu

The view from above was beyond fantastic! The mountain tops popping out of the clouds! Jaw-dropping beauty, and it makes you wonder and expect more beauty from the Creator.

The climb up to the peak was really a test of endurance of the mind and the legs of course because at a point, even when my legs are willing, my mind told me that "You've already made it here, it is already beyond your limits!".

Well, eventhough I didn't make it to the top of the Low's peak, I was there at the foot (Maybe another 250m vertical distance to go!). And you are wondering why didn't I just climb the rest of the distance?The reason being I got a time to check in because of the Walk the Torq activity that my group had already signed up for. (That is another whole experience in itself!). I know if I go ahead with the vertical distance to reach the summit, I will be late for the activity and might not even be able to participate even though I paid for it already. So I decided to just give myself some time to admire whatever my eyes could feast on.

My goal for the trip this time is really to be able to stand above and conquer my fear of heights. It is amazing to think of the heights I went up and above in the dark alone. Yeah, alone because I lost my group along the way up, so I just went along with whoever that was in front of me. Those vertical drop at the danger zone with only a white rope to help you up. Coming down, I find it to be more interesting and adventurous rather than fear. If you thought that I climbed down, by not looking downwards, you are so wrong! I came down most of the time can't resist turning behind my back and looking down because the view was really fantastic!

It makes me wanna go search out more of these natural beauty and be immensed in it because these tell me of how creative and beautiful my God is. From those little details on the plants on the way up, all the way to the final view at the top of the mountain! He never fails to amaze me.

Psalm 104: 24- 25
How many are your works, O Lord!
In wisdom you made them all;
the earth is full of your creatures.
There is the sea, vast and spacious,
teeming with creatures beyond number-
living things both large and small.


Tuesday, April 22, 2014

SELF

There is more to SELF than it seems.

Monday, April 14, 2014

Re-dedication!

Today's service.
At the end of it, I re-dedicated myself to God again.
Well, it's not that I've back-slidden and coming back to God but I just felt a need to do it.
Then, after I did just that, I felt the peace and reassurance of God's love over me!

Sonship Through the Spirit (Romans 8:12-17)
12 Therefore, brethren, we are debtors - not to the flesh, to live according to the flesh.
13 For if you live according to the flesh you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live.
14 For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, these are sons of God.
15 For you did not receive the spirit of bondage again to fear, but you received the Spirit of adoption by whom we cry out, "Abba, Father."
16 The Spirit Himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God,
17 and if children, then heirs - heirs of God and joint heirs with Christ, if indeed we suffer with Him, that we may also be glorified together.

And the Spirit Himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God!

Let me say it again:-
And THE SPIRIT HIMSELF bears witness WITH OUR SPIRIT that WE ARE CHILDREN OF GOD!

April, a month where I found myself writing somewhere in my journal, "SELF".
And this 'self', I came to realization later on that it is not only my physical self, but my Spirit coming together with His Spirit that is in me to form ME.
Working hand-in-hand.
Not just two different entity coming together as one like puzzle pieces that fit,
but His Spirit and my Spirit fusing into ONE seamlessly.
That 'self' in my journal actually referred to the 'ONE'.
Even though when I wrote it, I totally meant self as in myself.

Today, I re-dedicated my-SELF to Him by crying out, "Abba, Father." =)


Wednesday, April 2, 2014

1 Kings 17

It still amazes me everytime when I read the Bible and I get something off it! Well, it is not something high and mighty, but it excites me enough to want to write about it.

My bad handwriting of the train of thoughts n as I read the passage!
Let's see how well I can lay this train of thought down this time.

1 Kings 17 (Do go and read the chapter first before reading on!)

v. 4      '... I've ORDERED the ravens to feed you.'
v. 9      '... I've INSTRUCTED a woman who lives there, a widow, to feed you.'

So before Elijah move anywhere, God told Elijah these things, I would think it sounded absurd if I am Elijah, especially when ravens are supposed to feed me?? Yet, with these little promises of God, Elijah still chose to obey what God had instructed him and went to the places that he is supposed to go. At these places, Elijah experienced for himself of how the promises of God came true, every single word not any left out!

GOD INSTRUCTED --> ELIJAH OBEYED --> ELIJAH EXPERIENCED

First, a raven. Then, a widow. Why a raven then a widow?
No, I do not have an answer to that. I might look into that deeper later, it is indeed interesting to find out.

But take a look at the encounter of the widow and Elijah! (v. 10-16)
Elijah saw the widow and asked for water and food for himself.
Widow gave him water but she told him that she do not have food but just flour and little oil that is barely enough for herself and her son.
Elijah told her to first, make a little bread for him before she proceeds to make bread for herself and her son. If I am the woman, why would I feed you (a stranger) when I do not have enough for my own household?

Elijah told her this (v:14) :-

For this is what the LORD, the God of Israel, says: 'The jar of flour will NOT be used up and the jug of oil will NOT run dry UNTIL the day the Lord gives RAIN on the land.'

With that spoken word, the widow did as she was instructed by Elijah. As a result, the jar of flour and oil never run dry and there is food for her son and herself everyday! Just like it was spoken!

ELIJAH INSTRUCTED --> WIDOW OBEYED --> WIDOW EXPERIENCED

Have you ever wondered how did Elijah gathered the courage to tell the widow that promise of God out loud? If it never come to pass, he will be the first target to be mocked and scolded by the widow (most probably everybody in town will know what happened if whatever he said didn't come true).

In my opinion, I would say that is why Elijah was fed by the ravens as instructed by God before he was send to meet the widow. Elijah is so sure of the words that are coming out of his mouth because Elijah experienced first-hand when the spoken word of God came through for him and he know that whatever the Lord has spoken will come through.

Today, let us hold onto that one verse/ promise of God that He has in our lives. With that word, let us have faith to take actions and obey whatever He has instructed us to do even though it seemed ridiculous at times! It is this obedience that we are able to experience Him more intimately in our lives and with that, to be a testimony for His Glory, drawing and bringing people to experience His love first-hand themselves.

JESUS , YOU'RE MY FIRST LOVE!


Saturday, March 22, 2014

Sword of the Spirit = Word of God

Worship Night in S35 yesterday.
Before it started, somebody asked me, 'Are you excited?'
I'm like, 'Like that lo. Nothing unusual lo.'
However, inside of me I know that He will be there tonight because the past few weeks of CGM, I literally felt Him sitting next to me. I was just waiting for the right time to see what He has up His sleeves for me.

So worship started, I sat there (Thank God that I am at the corner of the room, the best spot to myself!) and sang along. Then I am reminded of a question I got from a friend, a really random question,

'Anna, Why are the trees still so green when the grass have all withered?'

After I answered him, he texted me this, 

' Hahah. Our lives should be like the trees. Rooted deep. When all around us is withering, we will continue to stand strong and grow :) '

So here I am in the little yellow room and I was taken back to this scene, green trees with brown ground. However, my focus was NOT on the trees, my focus shifted to the withered brown dying cow grass!

Then it started to rain! Drizzle, then heavier and heavier! Pit-pat-pit-pat......

In just a short moment, the brown dying grass turned into fresh green grass. The turnaround was so easy as if every drop is a magic potion. Raindrops with words tagging to it, 'Bible', ' Prayer', 'Word', 'Servanthood', 'Worship', 'Bible', 'Fellowship', 'Word', etc. Every raindrop that hit those grass, refreshes them so much. Manna from heaven!

The first sketch that I did last night.
Oh, okay, 'Daddy God, I think I get what You are trying to tell me.'
I continued to worship after that scene.
Then it seemed that I just have that scene flashing over and over again. It is just a very general scene telling me something very general.

Then, the scene CHANGED! Yay, who wouldn't like a changed scene!
New settings, new objects.
A sword, a ground.

The sword hit the ground.
Once, twice, thrice, and so on.

Each time it hit the ground, the ground cracks, then opens up bigger, gaps gets bigger and bigger and bigger until I could look through eventhough I can't really see what is there at the other side.

Then I wondered, how is this related with the previous scene?

BIBLE, Prayer , WORD,  Servanthood,  Worship,  BIBLE,  Fellowship, WORD

Ephesians 6:17
(The Message) - ... God's Word is an indispensable weapon
(NIV)- Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God.


Second sketch I did last night.
This year, I wrote in my dream card 2014. 

FINISH READING THE BIBLE IN A YEAR.

Seriously, I am nowhere near it.
I am consistent in attending service and cellgroup. I am alright in praise and worship. I am there for food and fellowship. I do set some time aside to pray. I even started serving this year.

I started to try to be consistent in reading my Bible this year.
Difficult (Yeah, you will not believe it is difficult for someone like me who reads all the time).

The scene I had just now reminded me that the Sword of the Spirit is already in my hands the day I wrote that down in my dream card.
All I have to do is activate it, swing it, use it.
Every swing I take means I am nearer to my breakthrough, my dreams and my desire to know God more intimately this year.
I just need to stick through it with my Bible reading plan this year.
(Maybe getting someone nearer to me to be accountable to, so that I am actually sticking to it?)

Going through some rough patch with myself these days but He promises that as I continue to invest time in His word, He will be the one who will see that I get my breakthrough.
He will send the rain that rejuvenates me everytime I am dry,brown and desperate.
I do not control when it rains.  GOD DOES!
All I need to know is that I am the one being rained on so that I will stay green and fresh.

I am holding the Sword and I will be anticipating the Rain each time it comes!

P/S: It ended with another scene where the first and second image combined. (Go imagine it yourself!)

Monday, March 17, 2014

WARNING AHEAD!


A change in priorities. A need for this change. 
Sometimes, things need to be changed for the better.
I don't know whether this will get me anywhere better or worst but I am getting so sick of it.
How I'd always placed them as one of my top priority but they take me for granted.


And here I am praying and praying about it, going through sleepless nights because I do not understand how did I come to this state. And I guessed, I am the only one who is troubled by this.

DANG, REALITY OF LIFE!!

Wednesday, March 12, 2014

A God-Listening Heart

Just read 1 Kings 1-3.

Some interesting insights I got from reading those passages.

In 1 Kings 3:9 (The Message), King Solomon asked for a God- listening heart, so that he is able to lead his people well and to discern between the good and evil.

Then in 1 Kings 3:10-14(The Message), God said," ... I'll give you what you've asked for - I'm giving you a wise and mature heart."

A God-listening heart = A wise and mature heart

Further in 1 Kings 3:10-14 (The Message), God continues to say, "... As a bonus, I'm giving you both the wealth and glory you didn't ask for - ..."

When you have a God-listening heart, you are wise and mature.
When you have a wise and mature heart, you will stay on course, keeping your eye on the life-map and the God signs.
And when you are on the course, wealth and glory which you didn't even ask for will come to you.
(This includes wisdom that the world could recognise and they will wonder where did this wisdom come from - in the case of King Solomon, it could be witnessed when he solved the argument between the two prostitutes and the dead and living baby.)

Always nurture your heart to be a God-listening heart, sow biblical seeds, water it with God's words every day and you will see the difference in your daily life.

Sunday, March 9, 2014

L.O.V.E



Such a sincere song. The funny feelings when you are in love, the certainty and the uncertainty, the naive love, everything portrayed in this song. Definitely worth listening.

Sunday, February 23, 2014

Thanksgiving, Praise and WORSHIP


Today I woke up as usual, not expecting much, it is just another Sunday afterall.
Things been up my mind so much these days that sometimes I wondered how did God wired our brain that it will just go to such extend even without me allowing it. So uncontrollable.

Today's service is very personal, I know it is really very intimate to every single one of us in the auditorium.

However, for me it started even before the service started. The presence of GOD was so strong even during pre-service prayer meeting, even though I was late for 5 mins, I felt something touched me so deeply even when Sun was sharing. That's when I know something is going to be so different today!

Today's message is very timely, very apt.
HOW TO FIREPROOF  YOUR FAITH?

1. THANKSGIVING

If you know me well, I got no problem with THANKSGIVING.
It is always easy for me to give thanks, people often tell me, 

"Anna, you really thank God for those small things I always overlooked in my day-to-day life!"

"Sometimes you really make me look out for small details because you thank God for even the bird you see on the way to work!"

I do write down stuffs in my journal, so it makes it really easy to be thankful as I read back my past entries.

2. PRAISE

This is also not hard for me to do.
I know His Goodness more than I thought I know.
I walk to the MRT singing praise, I shower singing praise, I exercise singing praise also!
And to be thankful, usually I show it through praise!

3. WORSHIP

Well, this is the one that hit me the most today.
Worship is coming to God with an attitude of submission to Him, to come with no agenda in mind, being selfless and enjoying His presence.

Today I was being transported back to the first time I experienced Him.
I remembered how much I long to be in that state, as I couldn't explain it then, it just feel so fulfilling but yet wanting more of it.
And then I recalled how I reached that state, it is when I really left everything behind and focused on Him and nothing else. That was my first time coming before Him as a true worshipper.
That kept me close to Him.

The encounter this morning in service is just so tremendous, it was more than revisiting my first love, it made me experience once again the importance of worship all over again, one huge part that I've been not giving much attention these past few years.

I shall just end this post with this song.

Monday, February 10, 2014

Courage To Love




Heard this song while I was walking passed the market this morning and it was stucked in my head the whole day. As usual, I prefer Guang Liang's version because I am bias towards male vocals.
And believe it or not, he is the only Malaysian Chinese singer whom I listened to each and every of his album!

"Everything in life in temporary, because everything changes.
That's why it takes great courage to love, knowing it might end anytime but having the faith it will last forever."
- Unknown-

Saturday, February 8, 2014

Grace


Today cell group meeting,I saw this something in a different perspective. 
This something we call GRACE.

GRACE is:-

1. SALVATION
A lot of us are being taught that Grace means being given something that we know we do not deserve because we did not do anything that deemed us worthy to get a hold of it but God still gave it to us. And that free gift is His only Son, Jesus Christ.

2. ACCESS
After you receive salvation, you are given Grace because now you are granted direct access to God.
The access to God: to have a personal relationship with Him, to be more than just our Saviour, to be like our Friend, Father, Comforter, Provider, etc.

3. EMPOWERMENT
Empowerment comes when we come to know Jesus Christ and to let Him work hand-in-hand with us in everything that we do. Empowerment comes when we trust in Him no matter what the circumstance.
And this empowerment comes because of His Grace.
By His Grace, we live our lives beyond our natural ability.
Now that is empowerment by His Grace.

And He said to me, "My GRACE is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness." Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the POWER OF CHRIST may rest upon me.
-2 Corinthians 12:9-

Monday, January 6, 2014

2014

I am still here in this blog after 6 and a half years! Amazing! I should have a small celebration for it!
Well, I do not update as often anymore, but I do come back here every week or so to look.
Definitely a highlight for my 2014 that I am looking forward to. Mount KK via Ferrata!!! 

A week of 2014 had passed! Loving it so far! I will update pretty soon (or just buzz me until I do!)!!
As though there are still people reading this site besides me!!