Wednesday, August 8, 2012

VERDICT: GUILTY!

Conviction of the Holy Spirit.

I've been living my life according to the law. Never breaking them well maybe except a few parts here and there when I was in school. Rules are meant to be broken anyway!

But this time, I'd made a decision, a decision that will benefit me in ways that will also lessen the burden of the people around me; mostly financially and convenience. I was pretty sure that it is the right way, I made myself believe that it is the most correct way. Well, it made a lot of sense and it is just one year period, I can go through it.

Then, one night, the night before I shifted, the Holy Spirit convicted and struck me hard.
The bus trip back from CGM, I was reminded again and again of how He had been providing for my family and I all these while, so why am I not trusting Him enough this time?

10 years in church, I've been taught to live out the values of Jesus.
For me to live like a illegal immigrant in NUS ain't what He have in mind for me.
If I can't live right with the physical law, how am I going to live right before Him?
What more, to be a witness for him in this place call Earth?!
So much for being more and more like Christ, I am certainly not going that way when I can't even tell people where I am staying.

Pretty much that night, I struggled in my own head and heart.
Made a decision that will keep me homeless for a time being but I know He won't keep me homeless for long.
Maybe a decision that most of my friends wouldn't understand but at least, my family thinks it is the right thing to do.
Maybe a decision that will keep me tight on my budget for a long long time, but at least, I know somehow whatever I need will come through somehow.
Maybe a decision that for now I think I am crazy to make, but when I look back in the future, I will be glad I made this decision and made Him proud.

Now, all I can do is:-
He will indeed provide for me at the right time, and at the right amount!

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